HELLO YOU FOOL I LOVE YOU
First, a few blog related thankyous
To Ms Fits. I discovered the wonderful world of blogging after reading a newspaper article on that TV show Ms Fits wrote and thinking “Hey, I know that name, we went to the same school and my mate Dave had a crush on her, why don’t I check this out.”
More recently, the wonderful Ms Fits has kindly allowed me to post all sorts of inane questions and some truly stupid poetry about pantaloons as part of her Friday Q&A, which has been an excellent warm up for this blog. Cheers.
To IOYC. I will be very surprised if you ever read this, unless you are self googling or very bored. Anyway, your insane but irresistibly hilarious blog is an inspiration to aspiring bloggers everywhere. Please start writing again soon.
And finally, to Melbourne Girl. This fabulous blogger provided an actual sensible answer to the first question I ever left on Ms Fits’ blog, which was some rubbish about how to knit pants for cats. This lead me to check out her wonderfully titled blog, “World. Oyster. Stage”. Whilst reading this blog is sometimes the literary equivalent of having your heart ripped out by a deranged Mexican lizard (in a good way), it is also wonderfully life affirming.
To give you a sense of the quality you can expect from this blog, here’s the first instalment in a series on great rock lyrics of our time. And who better to kick off with than Giant, four fairly talented guys who produced some fine hair metal riffs, one or two great basslines and some truly fabulous lyrics.
All those elements came together on “No Way Out”, from their 1989 album “Last of the Runaways”.
The basic premise of this song is that lead singer Dan Huff meets a girl at some club or other dodgy venue. As he explains it “First we started talking/ then we started walking”.
At this point, things are looking pretty sweet for Dan. Clearly, picking up strangers at clubs is a GOOD IDEA.
But wait. It all starts to go wrong as the young lady announces:
I live round the next bend/have you met my boyfriend/ He’ll be waiting there for you
We are then left in suspense as they work their way through the chorus. We wait will bated breath for all to be revealed in the second verse. Sure enough, Dan also wants to know what is going on.
The second verse is worth reproducing in full, because it is gold.
I said hey, what’s all this/ I don’t get off on playing games
She just smiled, and blew me a kiss/ I saw my night go up in flames
He came round the corner/ It was getting warmer/ Oh oh
Then I saw him coming, so I started running/
This is like some crazy dream….
And there’s No Way Out ….
That. Is. Rock. At. Its. Finest.
There is nothing more I can add to lyrics this good, except to note that just in case we have missed the moral of the story, there is one final verse where Dan sees another attractive young lady at a club and WALKS AWAY WITHOUT TALKING TO HER.
Kids, don’t pick up strangers at the club. You will be chased up the street by angry boyfriends, yes you will.
Finally, a brief note for anyone who ever reads blogs by oddly named people and wonders who is writing this stuff.
Around four people in the world could possibly figure out what the phrase “I’m not Craig” is a reference to. Those people would instantly know exactly who I am. So Mark, John, Kathy and of course Craig, do drop by and say hi.
For everyone else, all you need to know is that I am really truly not Craig. I am sure that Craig would want everyone to know that I am someone else entirely, and this blog does not represent his views, except occasionally and by coincidence.
And in conclusion, come and join the joyride.
To Ms Fits. I discovered the wonderful world of blogging after reading a newspaper article on that TV show Ms Fits wrote and thinking “Hey, I know that name, we went to the same school and my mate Dave had a crush on her, why don’t I check this out.”
More recently, the wonderful Ms Fits has kindly allowed me to post all sorts of inane questions and some truly stupid poetry about pantaloons as part of her Friday Q&A, which has been an excellent warm up for this blog. Cheers.
To IOYC. I will be very surprised if you ever read this, unless you are self googling or very bored. Anyway, your insane but irresistibly hilarious blog is an inspiration to aspiring bloggers everywhere. Please start writing again soon.
And finally, to Melbourne Girl. This fabulous blogger provided an actual sensible answer to the first question I ever left on Ms Fits’ blog, which was some rubbish about how to knit pants for cats. This lead me to check out her wonderfully titled blog, “World. Oyster. Stage”. Whilst reading this blog is sometimes the literary equivalent of having your heart ripped out by a deranged Mexican lizard (in a good way), it is also wonderfully life affirming.
To give you a sense of the quality you can expect from this blog, here’s the first instalment in a series on great rock lyrics of our time. And who better to kick off with than Giant, four fairly talented guys who produced some fine hair metal riffs, one or two great basslines and some truly fabulous lyrics.
All those elements came together on “No Way Out”, from their 1989 album “Last of the Runaways”.
The basic premise of this song is that lead singer Dan Huff meets a girl at some club or other dodgy venue. As he explains it “First we started talking/ then we started walking”.
At this point, things are looking pretty sweet for Dan. Clearly, picking up strangers at clubs is a GOOD IDEA.
But wait. It all starts to go wrong as the young lady announces:
I live round the next bend/have you met my boyfriend/ He’ll be waiting there for you
We are then left in suspense as they work their way through the chorus. We wait will bated breath for all to be revealed in the second verse. Sure enough, Dan also wants to know what is going on.
The second verse is worth reproducing in full, because it is gold.
I said hey, what’s all this/ I don’t get off on playing games
She just smiled, and blew me a kiss/ I saw my night go up in flames
He came round the corner/ It was getting warmer/ Oh oh
Then I saw him coming, so I started running/
This is like some crazy dream….
And there’s No Way Out ….
That. Is. Rock. At. Its. Finest.
There is nothing more I can add to lyrics this good, except to note that just in case we have missed the moral of the story, there is one final verse where Dan sees another attractive young lady at a club and WALKS AWAY WITHOUT TALKING TO HER.
Kids, don’t pick up strangers at the club. You will be chased up the street by angry boyfriends, yes you will.
Finally, a brief note for anyone who ever reads blogs by oddly named people and wonders who is writing this stuff.
Around four people in the world could possibly figure out what the phrase “I’m not Craig” is a reference to. Those people would instantly know exactly who I am. So Mark, John, Kathy and of course Craig, do drop by and say hi.
For everyone else, all you need to know is that I am really truly not Craig. I am sure that Craig would want everyone to know that I am someone else entirely, and this blog does not represent his views, except occasionally and by coincidence.
And in conclusion, come and join the joyride.
posted by I'm not Craig at 8:26 PM
9 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yay.
thanks for the nice stuff about moi.
will look forward to reading your stuff.
HELLO. where's my comment?
i left it here yesterday.
i know i did.
Hi MG
Nice to have at least one reader.
Comment moderation is clearly more trouble than it is worth and I have switched it off. Your comments will appear rather more promptly in future.
that's better.
comment mod is for wimps.
Hey, I have comment moderation.
<cries>
I guess the fact that I cried proves your point, MG.
Anyway, look what I found!
So this is where "I'm Not Craig" lives, eh? I'm not even miffed at being ignored in your list of "bloggers I'd like to thank".
<looks around>
I like what you've done with the place. Very homely. I'll be back.
well, bevis did you offer i'm not craig any knitting tips?
i think not.
Bevis
If the list had been of "hilarious bloggers" or "bloggers I wish I could write like", you would have been on it (along with Ms Cynic, Miss World Panic, Fluffy, Jess from Ausculture, and anyone else who I have forgotten, ie anyone who reads this and feel left out)
However, MG is right about the knitting tips.
I can send you a cross-stitch design, if it'll help??
Nah, there's no way I'll be able to hold my own against the Mighty Power of MG's knitting tips.
Fair enough.
(PS - You're very kind.)
:)
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