The best things in life are free
1. Free range eggs
2. Seedless Watermelon
3. Buying an actual upside down fridge instead of turning the existing one over and hoping for the best
4. Chapel Hill Unwooded Chardonnay
5. Paying for my rugs to be steam cleaned instead of doing it myself with a length of garden hose and a kettle
6. Lavazza Coffee (well, it’s more expensive than the beans I currently buy – sad really)
7. When required to attend a medieval themed wedding, deciding not to make a suit of chain mail using a large bad of steel wool and two knitting needles, when one can buy one of these:
This is not a picture of me.
Yes, that’s right, I will be attending a wedding wearing that outfit.
This weekend.
The last time I went to this much effort for an event, it was a work Christmas party where the theme was “Heroes” or something. I hired a pirate costume, Honey Bear wore her “Wench Dress” and we were set to go. On arrival, we discovered that, apart from one guy dressed as Darth Vader and one woman dressed as Marilyn Monroe, everyone else had either:
1. Decided that their hero was James Hird and accordingly turned up in their usual clothes plus an Essendon jumper (around 20%)
2. Decided it was all too hard and dressed “neat casual” instead (the other 80%)
I will never quite forgot the experience of walking in to a reception centre in full pirate gear, looking around at a crowd of 50 sensibly dressed people and thinking “Aaarrrrgh this be not good me hearties”. It was a long night.
People had better dress up for this wedding or I am going to go, well, medieval.
The good news is that now that I own a suit of armour, I can publish a book of poetry and call myself “I’m not Jewel”.
posted by I'm not Craig at 9:21 PM
11 Comments:
Ahaha! Fantastic.
If you have watermelon, coffee beans and a suit of armour you are prepared for life in the big city. I love it.
There'd be a lot more pressure for the bulk of the guests to dress up for a wedding where everybody's there to help two people celebrate rather than for a work party where everybody's kinda just turning up cause they couldn't think of a decent excuse not to. So hopefully there shouldn't be much call for you to pull out your sword and have a fight to the death with somebody wearing slacks and a jumper.
Are you even getting the skull shield?!? Omigodohmigodohmigod.. I have never been more excited for another person ever!
Hey nonny nonny INCRaig,
I hate it when you turn up to parties suitably attired and no one else has made the effort. I went to a "come as you really are" party once where I dressed up as a schoolgirl complete with pigtails and freckles and Mr Fix dressed as a sleazy businessman a la Gordon Gecko - we walked eight blocks through Carlton to some very interesting comments from onlookers and had the massive scare that no one else would be dressed up.
Indeed, about 40 per cent of them were not. But the host WAS dressed as the Dalai Lama.
Thank your lucky bollocks that it isn't a nudist wedding. At least the question of 'what to wear?' is solved. But what if you and Honeybear are the only ones 'on theme', as it were.
Yes, think on that.
Indeed. Lots of thought is necessary.
I'm still sad you didn't go with the horse's ass suggestion...
Harpo
Pressure though there may be, I know two other couples who are going and they have refused to dress up. Apart from them, it will mostly be the groom's family and they are well known to be hopeless.
Sadly, the sword was not included, but at least that will keep the fights to the death to a minimum
Adam
Even more sadly, the shield did not come with the costume either. I was seriously disappointed but this is the way of E-Bay.
Gigglewick
Hey nonny nonny to you too and there is nothing better than the walk through the streets to the costume party. I went to a 70s party and as I did not have anything appropriate to wear I dressed in my usual clothes and ties a mirror ball to my wrist.
However, the party was on Brunswick Street so despite the 8 block walk from the car to the pub nobody said anything
Meva
Yes, things could be so much worse. I'm pretty sure that I would never get invited to a nudist wedding. They say you should never (un)dress better than the groom.
Aussie
Sorry, I just can't resist shiny things.
Oh! I admire your complete committment to the cause. While, at the same time, being secretly glad I have no friends who will force me to attend a themed wedding.
And Chapel Hill Unwooded? Are you my bloggy soul mate? *swoon*
glad you got the costume organised, but not sure i'm with you about the seedless watermelon. even though we buy it cause oftentimes that's the only one available, there's something creepy and overly modified about not having those little black seeds. and i swear seeded tastes better.
and hello!
Oh, the thought of the groom in the nude...Meva has a good point!
Ohhhhh, but the shield is the best bit.
Actonb
Always nice to meet a fellow aficianado of the unwoodeds. CHapel Hill do indeed make a swoonworthy produce.
MG
Seedless works well for feeding to small children. It's much less wasteful. I don't know how much it affects the taste, since I've never really liked watermelon. I probably should have left that one off the list, really.
Watershedd
As teh only two people on this blog who know what the groom looks like, you and I are the onlyh ones who know just how horrifying that would be.
Adam
I'll buy the shield for the next medieval wedding I go to.
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