Where to take children in Melbourne: Part One
I spent about three hours last Saturday at Bell Park* in Murrumbeena, which is absolutely the best place to take a two year old in all of Melbourne’s south east suburbs.
Here’s a few things I enjoy about Bell Park:
1. It has bells.
2. The adventure playground is huge and the walkways are very stable and quite difficult to fall off.
3. They have a lake with ducks. The also have birds which look a lot like penguins. In fact, on a previous visit I was on the verge of calling the RSPCA to report that a penguin had apparently ended up several miles from the ocean and was looking lost. I changed my mind when the bird in question flew away.
4. This park has it’s own velodrome next door. This is not something you can find at just any park.
5. Lots of people have parties there. This means I can take a break for five minutes while my son is distracted by watching a group of 8 year olds play musical statues. If there is a song that is less suitable for 8 year olds to dance to than “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt, I can’t think of what that would be.
6. Even the graffiti is entertaining. Someone, apparently quite recently, has spraypainted the words “It’s art not a crime” on a nearby wall. This is a direct response to a campaign run by our public transport service around ten years ago. It’s great that the written response arrived ten years later on a wall which is nowhere near a train station.
7. The bathrooms are truly amazing. To wash your hands, you place them under the soap dispenser. A movement sensor activates the dispenser, whilst at the same time activating the flushing mechanism. You then move your hands to the right, which activates the water, and a further move to the right activates the hand dryer. Whilst this is all happening, for some mystifying reason the cubicle plays a jazz version of “What the world needs now (is love sweet love)”
8. Seriously. Love sweet love.
9. There is a giant lizard made of that Rubaroc stuff for children to climb on. It is around 3 metres long. It was a proud moment when Bundle, who is getting quite good at identifying body parts, walked straight up to it, pointed at exactly the correct area and yelled “butt”.
I am hoping that no-one noticed. Let us never speak of this again.
*Actually called Packer Park, but it has bells in it.
Here’s a few things I enjoy about Bell Park:
1. It has bells.
2. The adventure playground is huge and the walkways are very stable and quite difficult to fall off.
3. They have a lake with ducks. The also have birds which look a lot like penguins. In fact, on a previous visit I was on the verge of calling the RSPCA to report that a penguin had apparently ended up several miles from the ocean and was looking lost. I changed my mind when the bird in question flew away.
4. This park has it’s own velodrome next door. This is not something you can find at just any park.
5. Lots of people have parties there. This means I can take a break for five minutes while my son is distracted by watching a group of 8 year olds play musical statues. If there is a song that is less suitable for 8 year olds to dance to than “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt, I can’t think of what that would be.
6. Even the graffiti is entertaining. Someone, apparently quite recently, has spraypainted the words “It’s art not a crime” on a nearby wall. This is a direct response to a campaign run by our public transport service around ten years ago. It’s great that the written response arrived ten years later on a wall which is nowhere near a train station.
7. The bathrooms are truly amazing. To wash your hands, you place them under the soap dispenser. A movement sensor activates the dispenser, whilst at the same time activating the flushing mechanism. You then move your hands to the right, which activates the water, and a further move to the right activates the hand dryer. Whilst this is all happening, for some mystifying reason the cubicle plays a jazz version of “What the world needs now (is love sweet love)”
8. Seriously. Love sweet love.
9. There is a giant lizard made of that Rubaroc stuff for children to climb on. It is around 3 metres long. It was a proud moment when Bundle, who is getting quite good at identifying body parts, walked straight up to it, pointed at exactly the correct area and yelled “butt”.
I am hoping that no-one noticed. Let us never speak of this again.
*Actually called Packer Park, but it has bells in it.
posted by I'm not Craig at 12:58 AM
2 Comments:
sounds like a good park to take 8, 10 and 11 year olds to as well.
but what is it with this "butt" business? i am constantly telling my kids it's bum not butt.
reminds me of my uncle who used to correct his older two boys when we were teenagers. he would sit in the corner, a glowering anger-filled man, who would cut into conversations thusly:
"it's fuck-ING, not fucken. don't drop your gs."
classic.
and sorry about swearing on your blog. is it ok?
It is an excellent park for children of all ages. Tell Clokeeey there's an oval with goalposts and stuff too.
The "butt" business started one morning when I was changing Bundle before work. He pointed down and said "What's this?" and, still half asleep and not thinking, I stupidly said "That's your butt".
He said "Butt. Butt. Butt" etc. I probably shouldn't have laughed so much.
Feel free to swear on my blog as much as you like (I did after all swear on yours last week). My children haven't learned to read yet and my grandparents don't know about this blog so it's perfectly safe.
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