Of all the stories I have ever been told, this one was the most absolutely unexpected

I'm really not sure whether I can do this story justice, but I really, really have to give it a go.

We start with the happy news that my parents are back from their latest six week trip to the home of country music, and a reminder than any state that voted for McCain by a fairly large margin must be a little bit nuts. Just how nuts could they be? Let me tell you.

Whilst they were over in crazy-land, a friend invited my parents to go to a show at one of the local universities. The show was put on by a group called the National Theatre Company which turned out to be pretty much just 4 guys from New York and possibly a not insignificant stash of dried herbs.

The show was a re-enactment of a curious period in Southern history when someone apparently decided that Sunday School teachers in rural areas needed to be entertained. The idea, I am told, was to put on a travelling show to help such folks learn about some more liberal type ideas and expose then to the sort of literature and cultural type stuff that is not readily available when you live within shouting distance of Dollywood and popular local music inevitably begins with the phrase "Pardon me boys..."

This notion, whilst a little patronising, was not, in itself, completely insane.

At first.

The problem was that, after a while, competition from vaudeville and Charlie Chaplin movies and the like was affecting attendance levels, so the shows had to become more and more entertainment based, and eventually even a little bohemian, to keep attracting the crowds. And it was this historical development that was re-enacted for the entertainment of my unsuspecting parents.

I sat, awestruck, in my parents' kitchen as they described the show. First, jugglers appeared with clubs and acrobats entertained with flipping. There may have been fire eating. There was certainly one dude swallowing a sword. My mother believed this was some sort of illusion until she found out later than this guy was the president of the American Sword Swallowing Association*

My parents thought the whole eating of metal thing was going a bit far. But the best was yet to arrive.

Next, a man walked onto the stage and started removing his clothing. It did not occur to my parents for a second that he would do anything other than stop this activity at some suitably tasteful moment.


No.


And here's where it gets a little bit strange.


Just as underwear was being removed, another member of the cast came running out with a piece of cardboard and placed it in front of the area recently vacated by said underwear.

Then he got out a texta.

And drew a picture of a genital on the cardboard.


Still not done, the carboard was then exchanged for a guitar, and the naked guy played four verses of a folk song before inching off the stage sideways, guitar still strategically placed in front of him and dragging his pants off the stage with one foot.



It is a while since I have laughed this hard.




For my mother went and saw a stripper.


My saintly Anglican mother, went and saw a stripper.


My saintly Anglican mother who walked out of "Pretty Woman" within the first 20 minutes due to the adult themes, went and saw a stripper.


With her husband.


Best of all, she told me about it. And thought it was hilarious.


I am, as ever, in awe of my parents.









* or some similarly titled group. Now that I think about it, there isprobably not a group called the A.S.S. Association.**



** If there is, I should probably refrain from mocking anyone tough enough to eat a sword