Packet in
Hey ho, another day of employment at the local branch of Wolfram & Hart* is complete.
My office is a strange place at the best of times. Today’s odd discovery relates to the sugar packets in the tea room. The fact that I noticed this may give you some idea of how much coffee I have been drinking lately. Whatever.
For reasons best known to my employer, we buy our sugar in individual packets with little proverbs on them, something which I have previous only seen during far too many nights spent staying at the Fountain Motel.
The odd thing about the sugar packets is that the only three proverbs I found today all seemed a little pointed. The available words of wisdom were:
Speech is great but silence is greater
The unspoken word never does harm
The temple of our purest thoughts is silence.
I had many more than three cups of coffee, but this was all I could find. It is a mark of the respect I generally expect, and receive, at work that even the sugar packets are now telling me to shut up.
Why are they doing this? Does this sugar company get a lot of complaints? Are they sick of angry phone calls from dentists? Is the sugar packaged by CSR and they’re still annoyed about that ‘sugar refining company won’t save me’ line in Blue Sky Mining?
I will have to leave you to ponder thisridiculous half baked excuse for a post most intriguing of mysteries as it is nearly midnight and I have to finish writing a 4000 word job application and ensure it is received by my future employers by Friday.
Wish me luck.
* Every law firm in the world is, on some metaphysical level, a branch of Wolfram & Hart
My office is a strange place at the best of times. Today’s odd discovery relates to the sugar packets in the tea room. The fact that I noticed this may give you some idea of how much coffee I have been drinking lately. Whatever.
For reasons best known to my employer, we buy our sugar in individual packets with little proverbs on them, something which I have previous only seen during far too many nights spent staying at the Fountain Motel.
The odd thing about the sugar packets is that the only three proverbs I found today all seemed a little pointed. The available words of wisdom were:
Speech is great but silence is greater
The unspoken word never does harm
The temple of our purest thoughts is silence.
I had many more than three cups of coffee, but this was all I could find. It is a mark of the respect I generally expect, and receive, at work that even the sugar packets are now telling me to shut up.
Why are they doing this? Does this sugar company get a lot of complaints? Are they sick of angry phone calls from dentists? Is the sugar packaged by CSR and they’re still annoyed about that ‘sugar refining company won’t save me’ line in Blue Sky Mining?
I will have to leave you to ponder this
Wish me luck.
* Every law firm in the world is, on some metaphysical level, a branch of Wolfram & Hart
posted by I'm not Craig at 11:37 PM
3 Comments:
4000 words?
That's not a job application, that's freakin' punishment! Do you really want a job that is so cruel before you even start?
I just wanted to say I really thought this was hilarious. I apologise for this half baked excuse for a comment. :) Yeah and I read this last night before going to bed, and do you know how hard that Blue Sky Mining song is to get out of one's head once it is in there? So thanks for that!
I unfortunately did not have sugar packets to save me by telling me to shut up - I said something at work, which is something I never, ever do, and it's blown out of all proportion. I must blog on this.. ;)
Adam
Through careful editing I got the application down to 3916 words, which is much more reasonable. Just to be clear, that word count does not include the covering letter or indeed my actual resume.
Quite ridiculous, but if it gets me the hell out of Wolfram & Hart it will be worth every last comma.
snoskred
I see that you have blogged on that thing you said at work. Clearly you too work with some interesting and occasionally challenging people. Working in small towns is an all too familiar experience and your post brought the memories flooding back.
And sorry about the "Blue Sky Mining" thing. There was a post on this blog in August called "ooh ahh just stop it" which will be no help at all in dealing with the problem. In fact, it's probably best no to read that post at all.
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