You're two tents
A few signs that I have been too stressed about work this week.
1. Walking home with a can of soup and feeling an almost overwhelming impulse to throw it through the window of the nearest car.
2. Actually thinking to myself “I need to take my mind off things, maybe I should just sit and watch “McLeod’s Daughters”.
3. Looking at the bottle of chardonnay in my hand and wondering where one would buy a straw that reaches all the way to the bottom.
4. Considering similar questions in relation to the port barrel.
5. Being so preoccupied with thoughts of work that I got half way through getting the children ready for their bath and then realised that I am not wearing any clothes at all and I have no idea when this happened.
1. Walking home with a can of soup and feeling an almost overwhelming impulse to throw it through the window of the nearest car.
2. Actually thinking to myself “I need to take my mind off things, maybe I should just sit and watch “McLeod’s Daughters”.
3. Looking at the bottle of chardonnay in my hand and wondering where one would buy a straw that reaches all the way to the bottom.
4. Considering similar questions in relation to the port barrel.
5. Being so preoccupied with thoughts of work that I got half way through getting the children ready for their bath and then realised that I am not wearing any clothes at all and I have no idea when this happened.
posted by I'm not Craig at 7:04 AM
14 Comments:
TGIF, indeed! I really hope things improve for you soon, inc.
Goodness gracious, pop some clothes on before you scare the kiddies.
I really hope things start to get easier for you on the work front.
I trust that this weekend you're able to spend some mind numbing/healing time making some soup (harder to throw, sans-can) or cake or something fiddly and friendly in the kitchen.
x
Err, the one that concerns me the most is #2. If this happens again, get thee to a hospital, fast.
I have no good advice on how to get unstressed at work, because I personally just walked out because I was so stressed and it's really not the first time I've done that. The only thing that helped me at all was a punching bag. I think we left that somewhere back in Adelaide, because I now can't find it. :(
But maybe I should have watched Mcleod's Daughters? Though I suspect it may have caused me to go a bit postal.. :( eek all those blonde women in druggie shirts and cowboy boots with guns and horses!
Not that there's anything wrong with that.. ;) But don't let the horses have the guns, I think they'd shoot the blonde women.. or the crew..
Please note, I have only ever seen ads for this show you speak of.. :)
I also hope things get better soon!
1. i hear you brother. but soup? can? i'll give you any number of proper soup recipes. you can impress honey bear.
2. i have nothing. but it doesn't mean i don't still like you. each to their own.
3. straw? just suck on it baby.
4. yuck. now i'm scared in a way that the can of soup didn't even begin to evince
5. this made me laugh. are you for real? what a champion of foibles you are. i love it.
nothing wrong with the kids seeing some parental nudity. i wasn't scarred by it, and i don't think princess is. it just means she's more comfortable with her body, but she is modest with others.
INCraig,
1. I can be scathing of cans of soup, but must admit they are an excellent projectile.
2. Only people who have never lived in the country watch McLeod's Daughters, or "Sex and Farming Accidents" as I like to call it.
3. That is only an inappropriate thought if you replace the word "chardonnay" with the words "methylated spirits" or "rubbing alcohol" (don't do it: as the pope says, you'll go blind)
4. You have a barrel of port? Problem solved!
5. As long as it didn't happen on public transport, you're fine.
What you really need to do is to develop some fascinating physical symptoms to alleviate your mental ones. My favourites (all experienced personally)
- facial tic
- stomach cramps
- insomnia
- nervous energy
and that perrenial all-time classic:
- the runs
Sorry to hear you're down. Take it from me that no amount of McLeod's Daughters will help. You need 'Arrested Development', stat.
I wish I could offer some wise words on avoiding work stress but I have no clue (other than gin, shoe shopping and kissing). I'nm guessing you and honeybear need to take the young uns out into this great Melbourne weather, breath in fresh air and generally think about how wonderful your family is.
Meva,
Thank you. Things are not terrible or even particularly bad, except for a little work related stress. Every other aspect of my life is great, so this post was really just a bit of much needed venting. And I feel better now.
Sharpatootha
My children are too young to see anyting unusual about a bit of parental nudity. They would only be scared if they have phobia about chest hair.
I haven't made it into the kitchen yet this weekend (except to clean it), but I did spend a lovely morning at the park and Honey Bear cooked an amazing warm lamb salad so all is rught with the world really.
Snoskred
McLeods is really not that bad, although I don;t watch it much because the metaphors are always ridiculously heavy handed and the acting and general character development are on the less than impressive side.
Good call on the punching bag. My brother in law has one and I gave it a good belting a couple of weeks ago and immediately felt better. Sorry to hear you lost yours. If I move to Adelaide I will keep an eye out for it
Melbs
1. We love to cook soup. The canned variety is useful for a quick lunch on the run at work or for Honey Bear on days when caring for two small children doesn't leave much time for cooking.
I would love to swap soup recipes. We do a particularly good minestrone and a pretty decent Hearty Winter Vegetable, so if you're interested drop me an email to notcraigorama@gmail.com. (yes this really is my email address)
2. Not into McLeod's either. Right there with you. Not bad, not particularly good, just McLeods really.
3. Good advice
4. Since I said barrel, not cask, I assume you're not a fan of the fortifieds. I'll have to remember this if you ever stop by (after you find out who I am and where I live, that is)
5. I am entirely for real, and I'm glad this made you laugh. The fact that the first thing I do after work every day is to have a bubble bath with my two beautiful boys is enough to convince me that I should try to stress less and spend more time appreciating just how good my life is.
Gigglewick
1. Yes and yes
2. I too shall call it that from now on. Also, I did live on a farm for a few months as part of the two years I spent living in the country.
3. Thought about making jokes about rubbing alcohol,decided that might be crass
4. Sadly it's no longer full (but it is maturing nicely)
5. No, and a grateful public transport system thanks me.
Must look into this Arrested Development thing.
Ms Batville
Gin, shoe shopping and kissing, two out of three ain't bad.
You're right, after spending this morning out in beautiful Melbourne weather I do feel much better.
Thanks everyone. Much as I dislike my job, I'm not at breaking point yet. If I ever get shickered on oak-matured port, throw a can of soup at one of McLeod's daughters and then rip my own clothes off, that will be a sure sign that I have finally lost it.
Until then, all is well.
INCraig,
I thought you'd like to know that I just snorted a revolting bubble out of my nose in response to your email address.
I'm tempted to run and register "gigglewick_a_go_go" right now.
all well and good mister i'm not craig a go go
BUT what about thomas the tank engine?
i've left his schedule in the post below.
YOU ARE MISSING GIGS AS WE SPEAK!
Gigglewick
I am very happy indeed to hear that my new email address entertains you.
I tried to register imnotcraig@gmail.com but strangely enough it told me that someone had already registered that address. I realise thatthere are any number of people on gmail who are not Craig but that still surprised me.
I tried a few other combinations, one of which was notcraig@gmail.com. That was taken too (??????). With every unsuccessful attempt, gmail provides a list of suggested alternatives. I chose the one that was clearly the stupidest, which would not surprise anyone who knows me.
You must register "Gigglewick a go go" without delay.
MG
Thank you so much for the Thomas information. I don't expect to make it to Sunshine or Epping but possibly one of the ones closer to home will work out.
I am not so much stressed out as depressed out of my skull, but feel exactly the same as you, especially regarding the Chardonnay. I always peer at the bottle in the fridge and wonder, "How early is too early?" At the moment I am quite civilized and wait until 5 in the pm, but things may change...hope your life get's better soon.
I'm Not Craig, Fastest Stripper in the West, in his number 1 show 'Blink and you'll miss it.'
'This show was amazing, he'd be telling a random story and then suddenly would have no clothes on.'
'Captivating.'
'I don't understand where he came up with this concept...'
'Unique.'
'I must have blinked heaps.'
New Show announced, previous shows SOLD OUT.
Emma
Sorry to hear you've been depressed. I'm all for th echardonnay in teh afternoon approach, although long term it's about as good an idea as throwing soup. I recommend a bit of accidental nudity IN YOUR OWN HOME as it's much funnier and you can freak out yoru frinds who read your blog then won;t come near your bathroom the next time they visit.
Hope things improve for you too.
Adam
I love your work. That is all.
I too have pondered where to by a wine bottle size straw.... maybe we should invent one...
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