INC’s Saturday Night By Request
This may be the lamest post in the brief history of this blog (yes, I know, that’s a big call) but since these lovely people have asked and indeed petitioned for more information, it is time to crank the publicity machine into high gear and promote the soon to be famous game of “Find the Hamburger”.
This game has been played twice ever, as far as I know. It was invented some time in the year 2000, back when I was living in a small town and helping to run the local youth group. Having clearly run out of ideas for sensible activities for the coming Friday night, I decided that we would play “Find the Hamburger”. I’m not sure why I decided this, other than that, having thought up the most excellent name, it seemed like it would be a terrible waste not to invent a game to go with it.
So I went to the IGA and bought two of the frozen cheeseburgers that, terrifyingly enough, people actually eat, and some lettuce, some tomato, and, because I am a patriot, some beetroot.
At this point, it is no doubt dawning on you that I wasn’t kidding about this being lame.
I then separated the cheeseburgers into their component parts and wrapped each part in gladwrap. One hamburger was hidden in various parts of the carpark of the local church and the other was hidden in the park across the road.
We divided a surly group of teenagers (whose surliness was only increased when I told them what we were going to be doing next) into two even teams. Each team was assigned to an area and had to find both buns, the “meat” pattie, the cheese, the pickles, the lettuce, the tomato and the beetroot and return them to the hall. First team to find all the pieces and assemble their hamburger won, um, something or other.
For those who did not believe that this post would be lame, allow me to say I told you so.
Also, I should mention that it would have worked better, and been considerably fairer, if that town had not had such a large population of stray dogs.
Possibly the real reason I came up with this game was so I could announce at the end that the next game on the program was “Eat the Hamburger”, just to see if they would.
They did.
I could so totally sell this idea to the producers of Survivor as a reward challenge (with built in reward). Anyone reading this who happens to know The Probst, please ask him to e-mail me at inc@notarealaddress.com.au as soon as possible.
So, what else do you want to know about me?
This game has been played twice ever, as far as I know. It was invented some time in the year 2000, back when I was living in a small town and helping to run the local youth group. Having clearly run out of ideas for sensible activities for the coming Friday night, I decided that we would play “Find the Hamburger”. I’m not sure why I decided this, other than that, having thought up the most excellent name, it seemed like it would be a terrible waste not to invent a game to go with it.
So I went to the IGA and bought two of the frozen cheeseburgers that, terrifyingly enough, people actually eat, and some lettuce, some tomato, and, because I am a patriot, some beetroot.
At this point, it is no doubt dawning on you that I wasn’t kidding about this being lame.
I then separated the cheeseburgers into their component parts and wrapped each part in gladwrap. One hamburger was hidden in various parts of the carpark of the local church and the other was hidden in the park across the road.
We divided a surly group of teenagers (whose surliness was only increased when I told them what we were going to be doing next) into two even teams. Each team was assigned to an area and had to find both buns, the “meat” pattie, the cheese, the pickles, the lettuce, the tomato and the beetroot and return them to the hall. First team to find all the pieces and assemble their hamburger won, um, something or other.
For those who did not believe that this post would be lame, allow me to say I told you so.
Also, I should mention that it would have worked better, and been considerably fairer, if that town had not had such a large population of stray dogs.
Possibly the real reason I came up with this game was so I could announce at the end that the next game on the program was “Eat the Hamburger”, just to see if they would.
They did.
I could so totally sell this idea to the producers of Survivor as a reward challenge (with built in reward). Anyone reading this who happens to know The Probst, please ask him to e-mail me at inc@notarealaddress.com.au as soon as possible.
So, what else do you want to know about me?
posted by I'm not Craig at 9:16 PM
10 Comments:
Who are you, if you aren't Craig?
Who is Craig?
Why is He so special?
Can you not be Laura for once?
This whole shebang is confounding me, let's just go have a sit down.
Will you have a sit down with me?
What about a ginger snap?
How did you find your Honeybear?
When does the Official Soundtrack of HoneyBear: The Musical get released?
Can I help with some artwork actionz?
Have you found new work yet?
Is it far away?
Do you like my new shoes?
What's your favourite book?
Did you ever indulge in The Hamburger?
Have you ever been sued for making innocent game-players eat off 'hamburgers'?
Do you drink grog?
Where's the best place to eat dinner?
Sharpatootha
It is deeply thrilling to find that one of my favourite bloggers is (still) reading my little blog, and also very flattering that you would be interested in finding out anything about me at all. Craig will probably also be thrilled.
I will post the answers soon, subject to getting Craig's permission to post stuff about him. I won't be able to seek Laura's permission, as I have no idea who she is.
You're right, it's all very confounding.
I don't know The Probst, but I have baited scammers as The Probst.. ;) I personally adore The Probst. I have also baited as Beyonce, Tyra, and a girl named Anuka who looked *incredibly* like Delta Goodrem. Amazingly so! The resemblance was astonishing but not surprising given I was using pics of Delta.. ;)
I actually got caught out by one lad who saw Delta on a video in Africa on MTV - and even so, I managed to lie my way out of it, just saying she looked very much like me and then still managed to get that lad to fly from South Africa to London and then to the USA to meet and marry "her" - at which point I actually got him arrested by the USSS who then deported him. :)
Yeah, I'm a bad seed and Karma is going to bite me in the rear eventually.. oh hang on, these are criminals scamming people out of a lot of money . I might be ok then.. ;) hehe
It's odd but the lads never took to The Probst, they seemed to prefer the ladies. I can't imagine why. The Probst is stunningly handsome!
Wait, was the hamburger meat uncooked and they still ate it?
Eurgh! That's gross. I want to play!! I'm not sure if I could win or not, it would depend on how much I wanted the other team to not win.
Are you really going to get Craig's permission? But won't he then know about this blog? What if he shuts you down? Is anyone else nervous?
Yes Adam, very nervous.
This was pure genius. The surly teenagers are just ungrateful. Perhaps there are twists that can be added to the fundamental idea:
Search For The Slurpee
Collect The Cauliflower
Pick Up The Pappadums
I have a question to add to Sharpatootha's list though: you mention that this game has only ever been played twice — I'm staggered it got a second go. How did you get away with it a second time?!
Also I have a question (once you're through with Sharpatootha's)...
Do you know any of the people who comment on your blog in the real world (i.e. not the internerd)?
Does that make it weirder or easier to blog?
Also, I like the way that Craig has been imbued with a deified status in Sharpatootha's questions, does Craig indeed have some kind of Messiah-complex?
Okay, that was three questions.
Find the hamburger is almost up there with friends who invented "Figure 8" for some restless 10 year old boys on a school camp. That's right "Figure 8" was a game that involved doing as many runs in a figure 8 formation as was possible. Genius!
I'm all for "Official Soundtrack of HoneyBear: The Musical" - you could podcast it to a grateful world.
Mr I'm Not Craig Or Axl, could you please send me an e-mail to the.adz@gmail.com? I would like to invite you into the Bloggolympics.
Adam
Thank you, I feel very honoured to be considered for the Bloggolympics. Do the events include Find the Hamburger? And is the slogan Higher, Faster, Meatier?
I'll send you an email as soon as I set up an account which does not have my real name as part of the email address.
Everyone else
Answers to all questions and responses to all comments will be in the next post.
Soon, probably.
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