I assure you this is not a post about real estate
The last time I turned up to a church service (that would be a few weeks ago now) we read one of the most unappreciated parts of the Bible. It’s a section that is commonly referred to as the “Seven Woes”, and basically consists of Jesus bagging out the religious leaders of the time in a manner that sounds less like most people’s idea of how Jesus might talk and more like Axl Rose towards the end of “Get in the Ring”
You can read the seven woes in full here, but to give you the general idea, most of it went a bit like this:
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel."
Jesus also calls these highly respected religious leaders blind fools, vipers and children of hell.
It’s magnificent stuff.
It should give you a fairly good insight into how my mind works that the overwhelming rock and rollness of this bit of the Bible got me to wondering “If that’s the Seven Woes, what would a tribute to great screams in rock history called “the Seven Woahs” look like?”
Probably something like this:
1. Transvision Vamp – Baby I Don’t Care
The opening chords of this classic are almost entirely drowned out by a raging “Wooah” from Wendy James that could strip paint off a tank.
2. Motley Crue – Kick Start my Heart
If you are going to say “Woah Yeah Baby” then saying it just after you sky dive naked from an aeroplane makes sense to me.
3. Bon Jovi – Living on a Prayer
Surely the one that set the standard for the use of the woah in stadium rock and everyone else has been playing catch up ever since.
4. Whiteheart – No Taboo
Almost no-one who might read be reading this will be familiar with this great moment in 80s Christian Rock, but Rick Florian and the boys from Whiteheart deserve a mention for possible the longest woah going around. The entire chorus consists of “Wo-o-o-o-o-o –oah/ Wo-o-oah/ NO TABOO [repeat]”
5. Arrested Development – Everyday People
Not the most rockin’ selection in this list but the unique “long Wooah- short wo” combination demands inclusion.
6. The Sweet – Ballroom Blitz
This is better known for the “yeah” than the “wooah” but it still rates
7. Guns 'N' Roses – Sweet Child of Mine
And that will bring us back to Axl.
Next week, we move on to the seven “hooahs”, featuring DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on “Boom Shake the Room” and other such classics, or possibly a post that has some point to it.
Vote now.
You can read the seven woes in full here, but to give you the general idea, most of it went a bit like this:
"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel."
Jesus also calls these highly respected religious leaders blind fools, vipers and children of hell.
It’s magnificent stuff.
It should give you a fairly good insight into how my mind works that the overwhelming rock and rollness of this bit of the Bible got me to wondering “If that’s the Seven Woes, what would a tribute to great screams in rock history called “the Seven Woahs” look like?”
Probably something like this:
1. Transvision Vamp – Baby I Don’t Care
The opening chords of this classic are almost entirely drowned out by a raging “Wooah” from Wendy James that could strip paint off a tank.
2. Motley Crue – Kick Start my Heart
If you are going to say “Woah Yeah Baby” then saying it just after you sky dive naked from an aeroplane makes sense to me.
3. Bon Jovi – Living on a Prayer
Surely the one that set the standard for the use of the woah in stadium rock and everyone else has been playing catch up ever since.
4. Whiteheart – No Taboo
Almost no-one who might read be reading this will be familiar with this great moment in 80s Christian Rock, but Rick Florian and the boys from Whiteheart deserve a mention for possible the longest woah going around. The entire chorus consists of “Wo-o-o-o-o-o –oah/ Wo-o-oah/ NO TABOO [repeat]”
5. Arrested Development – Everyday People
Not the most rockin’ selection in this list but the unique “long Wooah- short wo” combination demands inclusion.
6. The Sweet – Ballroom Blitz
This is better known for the “yeah” than the “wooah” but it still rates
7. Guns 'N' Roses – Sweet Child of Mine
And that will bring us back to Axl.
Next week, we move on to the seven “hooahs”, featuring DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince on “Boom Shake the Room” and other such classics, or possibly a post that has some point to it.
Vote now.
posted by I'm not Craig at 9:29 PM
6 Comments:
Neil Diamond? It's either Crunchy Granola or Cherry Cherry.
if you do the seven "knows", you'll be able to use just the one song -
"Ain't No Sunshine".
that has about all the knows anyone might need.
I love the idea of the 7 Whoas. Where's Adam when you need him?
But if you did the 7,777 Lie-la-lies you'd just need to listen to The Boxer.
What a genius post. Can I also humbly suggest "You've Lost that Loving Feeling" by the Righteous Brothers for a lovely rhythmic whoa.
Stomper
Hey hi, welcome along and so forth.
I think Crnchy Granola had a pretty good whoa but I am terribly uneducated in all matters Diamond so I can comment on Cherry Cherry.
Also, I greatly enjoyed finding your blog and reading it and stuff
Giggles
I think you have invented a new meme, henceforth known as the '7 things that rhyme with woah' meme.
You have also inspired me to ponder, possibly for the first time in my life, just how many knows I might need, exactly.
Meva
Admittedly, one of my reasons for posting this was to find out if Adam is still reading this stuff (I have forgotten what the other reasons were. In fact, I couldn't begin to guess)
I'm not sure thatthe 7777 things meme is likely to catch on soon but we should give it a go
KR
It is so hard to find a lovely rhythmic whoa. Love your work
hey INC. there's something for you over at mine. something to help you though the pain of boxes and gaffa tape. it's my pain at the moment as well.
i hope you like.
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