Avast ye hippies
Well, it’s finally happened. I never thought I would say this, indeed I had thought the very notion absurd and impossible, but it’s true.
Ms Fits said something that I disagree with.
I know, I know, the universe no longer makes sense, but don’t panic, we can get through this if we all just stay together.
What the hell are you talking about?
Its quite simple, my friends. Ms Fits suggested that perhaps it would not be worthwhile to tune in to the third episode of “Pirate Master”.
And it was. It really, really, really was.
There are many things to enjoy about this show. Chief among them is the permanently fixed ‘how did I find myself on this boat and who exactly are all these mad people’ expression on Cameron Daddo’s face and he gives us his best impression of Jeff Probst’s long lost Australian cousin.
Another particularly fun part of this is that each week one of the contestants gets to be the captain of the pirate ship. This means that, in addition to getting way more loot, he gets to live separately from the crew and breakfast on bacon, eggs and rum, while the rest of the contestants live on gruel and hard tack or something. However, the captain only gets to do this until his or her team loses a challenge, then someone else gets to be captain and the former leader goes back to bunking in with the rest of the crew, who probably snigger quite a lot at this point.
Sure enough, the third episode saw evil captain Joe Don deposed in favour of psychotic looking dreadlocked hippy Azmyth. If you haven’t seen the show, imagine John Butler in pirate gear. On speed.
The utterly entertaining and also truly baffling part of all this (other than the obvious point that this dude’s parents named him Azmyth) was that, as soon as he put on the captain’s hat and jacket, Azmyth adopted a ridiculous British accent which he then kept up (with varying degrees of success) throughout the rest of the show.
No amount of mockery or ‘dude wtf’ facial expressions from the host or the other contestants seemed to cause Azmyth to stop and think, even for a moment, that he should perhaps explain his thinking here.
Surely, if one is on a boat full of Americans pretending to be pirates and everyone INCLUDING CAMERON DADDO is mocking one’s accent, one might start to question whether this whole ‘I think I’ll talk like Tony Blair’ thing was a good idea.
Here’s a few more fun facts about Azmyth
* He used to live in Snohomish, Washington.
* He has previously worked in architectural construction.
* He has one cat, Cinnamon, and two snails, Oogey and Ooget. One has to suspect that at this point he was gettingstoned bored and he had decided to have a little fun with whomever has the unenviable task of collecting biographical information on reality TV contestants.
* He enjoys building props, spinning fire and playing the drums.
* He was cast as an extra in "Pirates of the Caribbean 3," where he was hanged in the first three minutes of the movie.
I will, be watching again next week, even though the only reason for doing this will be to find out what Azmyth will say next, and more importantly, will he stick with the current accent or just start speaking like the Swedish Chef.
And if that thought doesn’t get you to tune in, clearly you do not even own a television.
Ms Fits said something that I disagree with.
I know, I know, the universe no longer makes sense, but don’t panic, we can get through this if we all just stay together.
What the hell are you talking about?
Its quite simple, my friends. Ms Fits suggested that perhaps it would not be worthwhile to tune in to the third episode of “Pirate Master”.
And it was. It really, really, really was.
There are many things to enjoy about this show. Chief among them is the permanently fixed ‘how did I find myself on this boat and who exactly are all these mad people’ expression on Cameron Daddo’s face and he gives us his best impression of Jeff Probst’s long lost Australian cousin.
Another particularly fun part of this is that each week one of the contestants gets to be the captain of the pirate ship. This means that, in addition to getting way more loot, he gets to live separately from the crew and breakfast on bacon, eggs and rum, while the rest of the contestants live on gruel and hard tack or something. However, the captain only gets to do this until his or her team loses a challenge, then someone else gets to be captain and the former leader goes back to bunking in with the rest of the crew, who probably snigger quite a lot at this point.
Sure enough, the third episode saw evil captain Joe Don deposed in favour of psychotic looking dreadlocked hippy Azmyth. If you haven’t seen the show, imagine John Butler in pirate gear. On speed.
The utterly entertaining and also truly baffling part of all this (other than the obvious point that this dude’s parents named him Azmyth) was that, as soon as he put on the captain’s hat and jacket, Azmyth adopted a ridiculous British accent which he then kept up (with varying degrees of success) throughout the rest of the show.
No amount of mockery or ‘dude wtf’ facial expressions from the host or the other contestants seemed to cause Azmyth to stop and think, even for a moment, that he should perhaps explain his thinking here.
Surely, if one is on a boat full of Americans pretending to be pirates and everyone INCLUDING CAMERON DADDO is mocking one’s accent, one might start to question whether this whole ‘I think I’ll talk like Tony Blair’ thing was a good idea.
Here’s a few more fun facts about Azmyth
* He used to live in Snohomish, Washington.
* He has previously worked in architectural construction.
* He has one cat, Cinnamon, and two snails, Oogey and Ooget. One has to suspect that at this point he was getting
* He enjoys building props, spinning fire and playing the drums.
* He was cast as an extra in "Pirates of the Caribbean 3," where he was hanged in the first three minutes of the movie.
I will, be watching again next week, even though the only reason for doing this will be to find out what Azmyth will say next, and more importantly, will he stick with the current accent or just start speaking like the Swedish Chef.
And if that thought doesn’t get you to tune in, clearly you do not even own a television.
posted by I'm not Craig at 10:54 PM
5 Comments:
I would have thought being mocked by Cameron Daddo would represent a career low-point for most people.
But I suppose that if thousands of 'Perfect Match' contestants were willing to endure it....
You sir, I must declare are a Master of All Things Blog. Buoyed by your recent enthusiasm I recorded this particular episode and loved it. I had missed the previous so hadn't really realised that the hippie dude was even there until they all spoke quite highly of him.
I loved his bizarre accent, it would have made total sense to get all piratey, but he just got super strange straight off, but because he paid everyone well I'm sure he'll be around for a while.
I also loved how dodgy that car salesman guy is, he might be the most interesting person there.
P.S) I hope you and Ms Fits can work through your differences. We don't want to have to choose one or the other to sit with at the bloggolympics. (Although, I'd probably choose you, Ms Fits pigtails probably give a nasty whip if she looks around too quickly).
Also....
"enjoys building props"??????
Giggles
If someone had a career like mine, then, arguably, being mocked by Cameron Daddo would be a high point, or at least a nice change from the average day.
Adam
You sir are far too kind.
When choosing who to sit with at the Bloggolympics, bear in mind that Ms Fits is way prettier than me.
Giggles
I can only assume that these were props for use in a Gilbert & Sullivan musical.
It all starts to makes sense now.
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