The unbearable randomness of thinking
A few things I’ve been wondering about:
1. Were spelling bees invented by a bitter parent who decided that if he had to spell everything for years on end in the manner of “Do you think the children would like a m-i-l-k-s-h-a-k-e?” etc, then the children should have to do the same thing except even more pointlessly?
2. Personally, I think that guy went a bit too far. It’s not like parents ever have to ask “should we buy them a m-n-e-m-o-n-i-c?”
3. There is little doubt that Katie Holmes fell on her head shortly before ringing her agent and saying “Hey, I just read the script for ‘First Daughter’, let’s do this”, but how many storeys up was that window exactly?
4. Why did no-one tell me that the Gilmore Girls were back on? Seriously, why?
5. There is a comic genius somewhere in the promotional department at Channel 10. Yes, I refer to whoever advertised the “Premi-arrrh” of “Pirate Master”. Why on earth does this person not have his/her own show. And could we put this show on, say, every evening at 7.00pm?
6. Did that real estate agent really think anyone would be convinced by an advertisement headed “Weatherboard excitement”? Have these words ever been used together before? Ever?
7. We all know about the dangers of athlete’s foot. But what about the equally scary prospect of mathlete’s foot? If untreated, your foot will actually turn into 30.48cm.
8. I am utterly addicted to ‘What About Brian’. How did this happen? Should I have noticed?
9. I also enjoyed “The Illusionist.” Is this some weird former cast member of 7th Heaven obsession? I doubt it, since I hated that show and I didn’t make it through “Summer Catch” even though I was stuck in a motel room in Shepparton with nothing but legal papers and cheap cookies for company. Well, that’s a relief.
The inside of my head is not a quiet place.
1. Were spelling bees invented by a bitter parent who decided that if he had to spell everything for years on end in the manner of “Do you think the children would like a m-i-l-k-s-h-a-k-e?” etc, then the children should have to do the same thing except even more pointlessly?
2. Personally, I think that guy went a bit too far. It’s not like parents ever have to ask “should we buy them a m-n-e-m-o-n-i-c?”
3. There is little doubt that Katie Holmes fell on her head shortly before ringing her agent and saying “Hey, I just read the script for ‘First Daughter’, let’s do this”, but how many storeys up was that window exactly?
4. Why did no-one tell me that the Gilmore Girls were back on? Seriously, why?
5. There is a comic genius somewhere in the promotional department at Channel 10. Yes, I refer to whoever advertised the “Premi-arrrh” of “Pirate Master”. Why on earth does this person not have his/her own show. And could we put this show on, say, every evening at 7.00pm?
6. Did that real estate agent really think anyone would be convinced by an advertisement headed “Weatherboard excitement”? Have these words ever been used together before? Ever?
7. We all know about the dangers of athlete’s foot. But what about the equally scary prospect of mathlete’s foot? If untreated, your foot will actually turn into 30.48cm.
8. I am utterly addicted to ‘What About Brian’. How did this happen? Should I have noticed?
9. I also enjoyed “The Illusionist.” Is this some weird former cast member of 7th Heaven obsession? I doubt it, since I hated that show and I didn’t make it through “Summer Catch” even though I was stuck in a motel room in Shepparton with nothing but legal papers and cheap cookies for company. Well, that’s a relief.
The inside of my head is not a quiet place.
posted by I'm not Craig at 10:29 PM
8 Comments:
See what we really need is a renovations show with that premi-arr dude and he can put crows nests and mainsails on suburban homes.
Then he can sell them with big banners which say:
"Ahoy there me hearties! You ain't never seen a treasure trove like this in your loife! Tis weatherboard and cheap carpeting as far as the eye c'n see!"
I actually do get excited about weatherboard. I want to live in a grand Edwardian weatherboard wonderland.
I will be judged, I know.
(But it's way past my bedtime, so be gentle with the judging.)
I agree with Meva - weatherboard is most definitely something one can be excited by.
When MrB and I were house-hunting for our first place, weatherboard (and no aluminium windows) was our only choice. We refused to look at anything else.
Oh! We were young and foolish then, but weatherboard excites me still - Hardiplank is a poor, poor substitute let me tell you.
i also vote for weatherboard, as long as it has good insulation (otherwise you can wake up and be breathing frosty white air while still in bed. childhood trauma from when we joked we had reverse insulation). weatherboard is so pretty too.
that's all.
x
plus, you know, the Lucksmiths had a song about it....
I believe "Weatherboard Excitement" was a phrase coined by the former residents of my own home - termites.
Hey about that meme thing...is there any time-limit?
Gigglewick
The word 'genius' is somewhat overused, but not on this occasion, because that was a whole bunch of it right there.
Y'all
Wow, you never know which part of a post will get all the comments, do you. I quite like weatherboards too, but I tend to prefer adjectives like 'sweet' or 'cute', rather than 'exciting'.
The thing that bugged me was that the particular house should have been described as 'weetherboard falling-off-the-frame-ment' or perhaps 'weatherboard landing on my head in the basement".
Leilani
About that meme thing. As actonb has correctly pointed out, no no, no no no no, no no no, no, no no there's no limits
Mathlete's foot? That was genius.
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