Hey, why not post something about cars?
I was talking to a friend who is slightly older than me about one of his first cars. I now have a whole new appreciation for late '60s Fords, mostly because of the following features:
1. This dude painted his car himself. With a paintbrush. Outside. On a windy day. I'm told the effect was reasonably 'textured'. One so rarely sees that any more. In fairness, he used 'real automotive paint'.
2. The fuel line ran accross the top of the engine. This is a great design feature if one is driving around Sheffield or Manchester in the middle of winter, as the heat from the engine stops the fuel line from freezing. This is a deeply stupid design feature if one wants to drive around Melbourne in summer. It's even worse if one is stuck in a line of cars waiting to get into, say, the local drive-in. That establishment was more accurately described as the 'push-in', because that was the only way to get the car in there without blowing it up.
3. The relays on the electric fuel pump had a tendency to jam. This could be fixed by the simple means of the guy in the passenger seat taking off one show, leaning out the window and thumping the fuel pump with the shoe until it started working.
4. This car had TWO HORNS. One for the driver to, you know, warn other vehicles of an impending crash or some such. The other was on the passenger side, and was there solely to enable the passenger to hoot at attractive women.
I found number 4 particularly hilarious. Someone asked me if I was considering a similar modification to my car, but I declined on the basis that Honey Bear is not much inclined to hooting at attractive women when we're out 'cruising'. Someone else then pointed out that I really should install two additional horns, one on each side of the back seat, as Bundle and Cherub would think that was awesome.
I won't be doing that.
It's bad enough that their carseats have drink holders. I have to draw the line somewhere.
1. This dude painted his car himself. With a paintbrush. Outside. On a windy day. I'm told the effect was reasonably 'textured'. One so rarely sees that any more. In fairness, he used 'real automotive paint'.
2. The fuel line ran accross the top of the engine. This is a great design feature if one is driving around Sheffield or Manchester in the middle of winter, as the heat from the engine stops the fuel line from freezing. This is a deeply stupid design feature if one wants to drive around Melbourne in summer. It's even worse if one is stuck in a line of cars waiting to get into, say, the local drive-in. That establishment was more accurately described as the 'push-in', because that was the only way to get the car in there without blowing it up.
3. The relays on the electric fuel pump had a tendency to jam. This could be fixed by the simple means of the guy in the passenger seat taking off one show, leaning out the window and thumping the fuel pump with the shoe until it started working.
4. This car had TWO HORNS. One for the driver to, you know, warn other vehicles of an impending crash or some such. The other was on the passenger side, and was there solely to enable the passenger to hoot at attractive women.
I found number 4 particularly hilarious. Someone asked me if I was considering a similar modification to my car, but I declined on the basis that Honey Bear is not much inclined to hooting at attractive women when we're out 'cruising'. Someone else then pointed out that I really should install two additional horns, one on each side of the back seat, as Bundle and Cherub would think that was awesome.
I won't be doing that.
It's bad enough that their carseats have drink holders. I have to draw the line somewhere.
posted by I'm not Craig at 6:43 AM
3 Comments:
first car i drove was a vw beetle, and my dad still drives it as his hobby car. while it was in my possession, all of the following "idiosyncracies" existed:
1. the fuel gauge worked until it was half empty, then the needle would drop to E. you had to keep note of the mileage (yep, mileage) it would do about 200 to a full tank, so i'd keep a little notebook in the glovebox to keep track
2. also in the glovebox was a matchbox containing a fuse. this fuse was for the windscreen wiper because the knob didn't work. so if it started raining, you had to pull over, insert fuse somewhere under the dash or maybe under the glovebox or in the glovebox, i can't remember exactly where it was, and then the wipers would start up. once it stopped, you had to pull over again, take out the fuse, and return to glovebox.
3. reverse didn't work. so parallel parking was best done on hills so you could just roll back into place. as you can imagine, parking became a logistical consideration but i don't remember being overly annoyed by this.
i LOVED driving that car. it had such good pickup at the lights i remember successfully dragging off a hoon car full of boys on johnston st, carlton. it wiped the smiles off their faces.
heh - my first car was a Cortina and we had to do exactly the same with the full tank - it didn't work AT ALL - so I had to keep track of the mileage.
And for an age it only had the front seats in, though I can't remember why, and no carpet so it was noisy as anything!
And cupholders? In the kiddy seats? luxury!
I have no hideous old car stories of my own.
However, Mr Fix is the proud owner of a 1969 Valiant Regal. It is big. It is green. It is in pictures all over the internet, courtesy of his new-found love of motoring forums.
I also know of a former student of a friend of my dad's, who painted her car with house-paint (as your friend did) but painted herself up and into a small patch on the roof, where she then had to wait until the paint dried for fear of smudging it.
No one believes me when I tell that story, but I swear to you it is utterly true.
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