Tell those friends with cameras for eyes

I have been spending a little too much time over at I can has cheezburger lately. You’ll understand later why I brought that up.

You may have noticed the increasingly sporadic nature of posting around here, and possibly a general deterioration in quality (just for those who were wondering if such a development were possible).

There are a few reasons. One is that I have been spending a lot of time reading sentences like this:

“For the purposes of the preceding provisions of this section but without limiting the generality of those provisions, a provision of a contract, arrangement or understanding, or of a proposed contract, arrangement or understanding, shall be deemed to have the purpose, or to have or to be likely to have the effect, of fixing, controlling or maintaining, or providing for the fixing, controlling or maintaining of, the price for, or a discount, allowance, rebate or credit in relation to, goods or services supplied as mentioned in subsection (1) if the provision has the purpose, or has or is likely to have the effect, of fixing, controlling or maintaining, or providing for the fixing, controlling or maintaining of, such a price, discount, allowance, rebate or credit in relation to a re‑supply of the goods or services by persons to whom the goods or services are or would be supplied by the parties to the contract, arrangement or understanding or the proposed parties to the proposed contract, arrangement or understanding, or by any of them, or by any bodies corporate that are related to any of them.”

This leaves me too tired, and indeed to irritated that my tax dollars paid for someone to write that, to form a coherent sentence, let alone a halfway interesting post.

I have also stupidly decided to add a few exams to my already reasonably busy schedule, meaning there’s no realistic prospect that I will write anything worth reading for several weeks. Anyone who wants to comment that that just sounds like business as usual, should feel free to do so.

So, my friends, it is hiatus time. Assuming I still have anything to say, I’ll be back some time in September.

This is as good a time as any to note that I don’t spend nearly enough time appreciating the wonderful people who read and comment on this blog. The comments are almost invariably more intelligent and funnier than the actual posts, and it’s some comfort to know that whilst this blog will never make me famous or convince the world that I’m a great writer, it will make me just a little bit cooler by association with the highly talented folks who comment on it.

So, to everyone who has ever taken the time to comment here, let me just say you are all wonderful, and, furthermore:

Alternative medishinsh

INC: So, I suppose when I'm on these antibiotics, I shouldn't drink alcohol?



A doctor: No, don't worry about it. You can have a quiet beer. Possibly a bourbon. It might make you feel better.



INC: This is how medicine should be practised





....


Any mild sense of surprise experienced by regular readers (yes, both of you) in relation to this piece of medical advice will, of course, be dwarfed by the utter shock experienced on reading that I actually went to see a doctor.


For the record, I think that was the first time in five years.

In light of the health concerns I've blogged about recently, I have to wonder at this point whether I'm stupid or simply wildly inconsistent. I don't think so. I would even venture to suggest that there is some logic at work around here somewhere.


The reason why I will go to a doctor for a sinus infection, for that is what it was, but not for stress related chest pains, is that, as far as I know, most doctors can't do anything for my stress levels. The one who prescribes beer and bourbon is the exception that proves the rule, obviously. However, they are fairly good at prescribing things to make sinus infections go away.


So far, I'm not feeling too stupid about this. But here's the part that's more concerning. The post immediately before this one express a certain level of irritation about the whole work/life balance thing. And yet I discover that I'm unwilling to see a doctor about something which may have long term consequences but doesn't interference with my ability to work right now, but as soon as an obviously temporary infection comes along and makes me too woozy to type a whole letter without collapsing, it's straight off to the purveyor of antibiotics for me.

It's entirely possible that this makes me a cross between an ostrich and a guy with no sense of perspective.

Which is something I should probably spend a little more time thinking about, really.

At least I'm not watching Lipstick Jungle right now

And so with the passing of another financial year, I can at least say that's it will be 11 months before I have to fill out another self assessment form where I try to convince my employer that I like my job, that I have goals for the next year, and that my work and life are nicely in balance.

Out of curiosity, if an employee fills out a form, and no-one ever reads it, was I really lying?

This, and also the fact that I spent today at home studying while my wife and kids were out for the day, got me thinking about the possibility that "work/life balance" might just be the second dumbest phrase in the world.*

For a start, at some point, someone will notice that work is actually a part of life rather than something entirely separate to be balanced against it.

More importantly, there will be an emerging global consciousness of the fact that working is not that much fun and, as a general rule, most of us would rather be doing something else. Work is the part of my life that I have to put up with in order to enjoy the other parts of my life. Technically, I don't need to work in order to enjoy time with my children on the weekend. However, I do have to work if I want my time with my kids to involve something other than homeschooling them.

In a tent.

In other words, money doesn't buy happiness, it buys rather more useful things like food and stuff.

So, having figured out that work is the part of my life that I enjoy the least, why would I want to balance it with anything? This is like saying that my next overseas holiday should have a "seeing cool stuff/getting food poisoning" balance. Perhaps television should have a "Buffy/Today Tonight" balance. And, frankly, I could go on for a while here.

My point is that "work/life" balance may just be a phrase employers came up with to try to imply that they are doing us a favour by allowing us to occasionally see our own families. We should, apparently, be grateful that they do this for us and pay us too.

This is, of course, insane.

And it's probably going to annoy me for a while.







* A close second behind "I think Kyle Sandilands should host this show"

Theology for the cheerfully insane

You could be forgiven for thinking that this is a post about World Youth Day, but it's actually about today's trip to the doctor.

My boys, with their usual creativity, had managed to both get ear infections even though they were already taking antibiotics. In one case, the antibiotics had been specifically prescribed for, yes, an ear infection. This was not exactly good news, but the afternoon was not without it's compensations.

Doctors' waiting rooms are interesting places even on a quiet day, but never so interesting as when a 3 year old looks at the television in the corner and says "Oh, mummy, that's your show", which just goes to demonstrate that you can still learn something about another person even after seven years of marriage, because the show was "The Bold and the Beautiful".

I had absolutely no idea that my wife had ever watched this show. Ever. The revelation that she has watched it enough times that Bundle now associates it with her was quite the pleasantly amusing surprise.

Still, the best was yet to come. As the friendly people sitting nearby were having a good chuckle at this particular revelation, and elderly and somewhat distinguished-looking gentleman sitting nearby informed us that it was unfortunate that we had not arrived earlier, as Judge Judy had been on.

He then proceeded to tell us "That's the reason why God gets angry sometimes. It's because he's been watching Judge Judy."

This is either a colourful way of saying that Judge Judy is not the best thing on television and if so someone give this man his own column immediately, or it's an insight that will be sure to transform our understanding of theology and spirituality in precisely the way that the Celestine Prophecy didn't.

Either way, you read it here first. If this infection doesn't clear up, we will be back to the same waiting room next week to discover that string theory was invented by The Goodies.

Do you hear the people sign?

Dear Village Roadshow

We win! We win!

Yours faithfully

I’m not Craig



Dear State Government

I figured this out weeks ago. What took you so long?

Still, better late than not at all.

Your endlessly irritated constituent,

INCraig





Dear The Age

What exactly is up with this headline?

Even if you add a preposition it still makes no sense.

Just wondering,

INC