An open letter
Dear Mr Howard,
Now that it has become clear that Angelina Jolie is way smarter than you, why don’t you takeearly really really overdue retirement and get her to run the country for a while?
There would be so many benefits. We could put parliamentary broadcasts on in prime time and I’m pretty sure they would rate just fine. Also, it would no longer be hard to understand why teenage boys were running up and hugging the Prime Minister.
Most importantly, it would put paid to the ambitions of that Costello upstart once and for all.
I should add that even this would not make me vote for your party, but I suspect that you would have the 18-24 year old male demographic so comprehensively sewn up that it just wouldn’t matter.
Yours, very sincerely
I. N. Craig
Now that it has become clear that Angelina Jolie is way smarter than you, why don’t you take
There would be so many benefits. We could put parliamentary broadcasts on in prime time and I’m pretty sure they would rate just fine. Also, it would no longer be hard to understand why teenage boys were running up and hugging the Prime Minister.
Most importantly, it would put paid to the ambitions of that Costello upstart once and for all.
I should add that even this would not make me vote for your party, but I suspect that you would have the 18-24 year old male demographic so comprehensively sewn up that it just wouldn’t matter.
Yours, very sincerely
I. N. Craig
posted by I'm not Craig at 5:31 AM
8 Comments:
I think all demographics would be AOK under control.
Crazy self-distructive chicks would like her from that movie that one time where she was crazy.
Chapel St chicks would like her for big lips.
Regional Australians would like her because she has that country rodeo feel about her.
Sporty chicks would like her because she beats up dudes in her movies.
Many gay people would like her for many reasons.
Mums would like her because she has many kids.
Dads would like her because she has boobs.
All other girls would like her because she married some dude they like.
As if she wouldn't get 99.85% of the vote.
and she probably wouldn't have peter pestering her to retire and hand ball the pm-ship. he'd be more than happy to just hang, at her side. doe-eyed.
On the other hand, she might get a run for her money if Elton John took up leadership of the Labor Party....
Weighing up the race:
Elton John pros:
1. Appears to hate migrants (mainstream Australia says YES!)
2. "Saturday Night's Alright for Fightin'"
Elton John cons:
1. Can't fit through Chamber door with that hat on
2. Already enough tantrums in Federal Parliament
Angelina Jolie pros:
1. Is hot
2. Brad Pitt becomes "first lady"
Angelina Jolie cons:
1. Used to be a vampire?
2. Creepy dad
hehehe gigglewick. nice one.
oh I would vote for any party that could make brad pitt "first lady". I am really cheap that way
and I'm Not Craig - admittedly my eyesight is not the best but has your photo been doctored to include an espresso machine now? Nice one if so (also nice even if just because of my poor eyesight...)
Adam, if you are not on TV next election night the networks don't know what they are doing.
MG, I can't quite picture Costello looking doe-eyed. Dough-eyed, maybe.
Gigglewick, that was simply wonderful. However, I don't think "used to be a vampire" is a con when you consider that the average politician used to be a lawyer.
Herbert, I suspect you're in the majority there. And yes, my photo does include an espresso machine, and a coffee cup.
um, where's the "machine" in the picture? i see an espresso POT.
yes, i am a pedant. and you thought you could get away with it.
THINK AGAIN.
MG, it's a machine in a fairly broad sense, in that you use it to brew espresso, rather than just to store it.
Sure, it requires an external heat source to work, but so did the Fiery Phoenix in "Battle of the Planets"
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