Three stupid ideas that I had over the weekend
Locks for toilets
A fabulous invention for anyone who is sick of trying to guess what their toddler has thrown in there today. This simple combination lock for the lid will allow for hours of stress free time listening to the jangle of keys as the happy toddler who has once again found some impossible means of getting them out of a handbag wanders freely around the house.
This will work wonderfully until you get drunk, can’t remember the combination and it all goes gross.
Perhaps I could just shut the bathroom door?
New day time talk show
This will not be all that different from the existing self help type shows where struggling couples go and seek help to improve their relationship, except that the host will skip all that gentle southern charm and deep empathy and instead will sit around eating fried chicken and randomly swearing at his guests. Hopefully,the couple will forget their differences and turn on the host instead. Even if this doesn’t work, it will still make for pretty good television.
Now I just need a title. I’m thinking “Dr Philth”
Open Tzatziki night
Science has found that there is a massive correlation between fondness for extreme sports and a love of yoghurt-based dips. Make your dining experience a lit more exciting next time you eat at my Greek restaurant* by turning up to our Open Tzatziki night. We won’t actually make or stock any Tzatziki that night. The Tzatziki you find yourself eating will have been made by one of the competitors in our Australia’s Next Top Tzatziki contest.
Can you find excitement like this at any other dining establishment? No sir you can not.
* not something that actually exists. Perhaps this is fortunate.
A fabulous invention for anyone who is sick of trying to guess what their toddler has thrown in there today. This simple combination lock for the lid will allow for hours of stress free time listening to the jangle of keys as the happy toddler who has once again found some impossible means of getting them out of a handbag wanders freely around the house.
This will work wonderfully until you get drunk, can’t remember the combination and it all goes gross.
Perhaps I could just shut the bathroom door?
New day time talk show
This will not be all that different from the existing self help type shows where struggling couples go and seek help to improve their relationship, except that the host will skip all that gentle southern charm and deep empathy and instead will sit around eating fried chicken and randomly swearing at his guests. Hopefully,the couple will forget their differences and turn on the host instead. Even if this doesn’t work, it will still make for pretty good television.
Now I just need a title. I’m thinking “Dr Philth”
Open Tzatziki night
Science has found that there is a massive correlation between fondness for extreme sports and a love of yoghurt-based dips. Make your dining experience a lit more exciting next time you eat at my Greek restaurant* by turning up to our Open Tzatziki night. We won’t actually make or stock any Tzatziki that night. The Tzatziki you find yourself eating will have been made by one of the competitors in our Australia’s Next Top Tzatziki contest.
Can you find excitement like this at any other dining establishment? No sir you can not.
* not something that actually exists. Perhaps this is fortunate.
posted by I'm not Craig at 7:06 AM
3 Comments:
I thought the regular Dr Phil already had a lock on that format.
Certainly that's what it feels like whenever he goes on about mothers who work outside the home or, shock! anti-war protesters.
Can Dr Philth have an assistant called Dr Phat? Can he be All That?
Truly nothing bonds people together than hating someone else more... You are a genius.
Gigglewick
I don't actually watch the show, although I saw a few episodes about four years ago. I just had the general impression that a case of the swears could only improve the show.
Adam
No, you are a genius. We must film a pilot and start pitching to networks immediately.
I bags being Dr Phat.
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