When bad spelling attaks
I read a story in The Age, possibly yesterday, about a woman who discovered that her youngish son had been googling "prawn" and she suspected that the onset of puberty had not caused him to develop a sudden interest in seafood.
Who knew that falling educational standards could protect our kids far better than multi-million dollar internet filters?
Still, spelling errors are not always a Good Thing. Here's a few examples of what happens when they go horribly wrong.
I tried to send a letter to an insurance company demanding that they pay up because their client had driven into my client's stationary vehicle. Unfortunately, my secretary typed it as "stationery vehicle" and the insurance company sent me a rude letter asking me what my client thought she was doing driving around in a car made entirely of manila folders and paper clips with pencils for axles and erasers for wheels,* and claiming that it was not their fault if a car like that got written off.**
I wrote to my former landlords asking for the return of our $1200 bond. They got confused and ended up sending me a $1200 bong. What the hell am I supposed to do with a diamond studded bong? Do these people think that I'm some sort of hip-hop uberproducer? DO I need to change my name to "I'm not Dre"?
Maybe this was my landlords' way of hinting that we need to do some more weeding.***
Then I went to Bunnings to buy a pair of Stair gates for my new house. Through a mix up that might have been amusing if it wasn't so damn serious, they sent me a pair of Stargates. You try telling your wife that the children tried to climb the stairs and now they're in freakin' Atlantis. It took me three weeks and a seriously hardcore submarine to sort that one out.
The next time a child asks you why spelling is important, remember that everything you need to answer that question is write here in the one post.
* hence the expression 'that's where the rubber hits the road'
** The important thing here is that I find myself hilarious
*** Zing, ka-pow, etc
Who knew that falling educational standards could protect our kids far better than multi-million dollar internet filters?
Still, spelling errors are not always a Good Thing. Here's a few examples of what happens when they go horribly wrong.
I tried to send a letter to an insurance company demanding that they pay up because their client had driven into my client's stationary vehicle. Unfortunately, my secretary typed it as "stationery vehicle" and the insurance company sent me a rude letter asking me what my client thought she was doing driving around in a car made entirely of manila folders and paper clips with pencils for axles and erasers for wheels,* and claiming that it was not their fault if a car like that got written off.**
I wrote to my former landlords asking for the return of our $1200 bond. They got confused and ended up sending me a $1200 bong. What the hell am I supposed to do with a diamond studded bong? Do these people think that I'm some sort of hip-hop uberproducer? DO I need to change my name to "I'm not Dre"?
Maybe this was my landlords' way of hinting that we need to do some more weeding.***
Then I went to Bunnings to buy a pair of Stair gates for my new house. Through a mix up that might have been amusing if it wasn't so damn serious, they sent me a pair of Stargates. You try telling your wife that the children tried to climb the stairs and now they're in freakin' Atlantis. It took me three weeks and a seriously hardcore submarine to sort that one out.
The next time a child asks you why spelling is important, remember that everything you need to answer that question is write here in the one post.
* hence the expression 'that's where the rubber hits the road'
** The important thing here is that I find myself hilarious
*** Zing, ka-pow, etc
posted by I'm not Craig at 9:21 PM
9 Comments:
How did the move go? Are you all settled? Is the resultant lack-of-stress what hascaused such joviality?
If so, yay!
And I think you're hilarious too.
Acto
Thanks, you're very kind.
The move went well, mostly because I have a number of friends who are very generous with their time and know about How To Tie Knots and other such Useful Things.
Having a next door neighbour who has a truck licence didn't hurt any, either.
I also fund you funni
No that isn't an ironic take on your spelling post it is how my stupid fingers typed it this morning. Bad fingers, I will have to send them back to spelling school.
That is the important thing, INCraig.
If Oprah has taught us anything, she's taught us that there's absolutely nothing wrong with 80 per cent of the population thinking they're above average.
(not that YOU aren't, of course)
My definitino of outstanding: the top ten per cent of the population plus all of my friends/children
PS I don't even watch 'Stargate' and I still found that particular joke High-larious.
I am reminded of my letter addressed to "Dead Sir".
And you are hilarious, INC.
KR, Giggles and Meva
Thank you , you are all very kind.
I would really like to hear the full story of the dead sir letter.
I should add that two out of the three gags in this post had a pretty solid basis in fact. The 'stationery' one was a typo that I picked up before it got sent. However, a very good friend of mine completely failed to notice that she had apparently demanded $800 owing for "bong and rent" until her very amused opponent rang to say that must have been quite a large bong.
I am further reminded of a colleague who told of the admin person who circulated about 500 flyers inviting one and all to a "Pubic Lecture". There apparently really was no l.
Apparently, it the lecture was quite well attended.
Meva
I suspect I could have learned a great deal. And hooray for free education for all
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