This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, young man
So, the week in politics so far looks something like this:
1. Kevin Rudd is furious with Robert McLelland for stating the official Labor Party policy in a speech approved by Kevin Rudd's office.
2. John Howard is furious with Robert McLelland for stating the official Labor party policy in that speech too.
3. John Howard is also furious with Kevin Rudd for not supporting the policy that Howard is furious about, even though they both used almost exactly the same words when criticising it.
4. Alexander Downer is furious with Kevin Rudd for agreeing with Alexander Downer's leader instead of Alexander Downer's direct opponent.
5. Robert McLelland is probably quietly furious with Kevin Rudd but so far he's been pretty quiet about it, even though, frankly, no one could seriously blame him.
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.
Yes, the polls have been looking good for a while now. Yes, you want to avoid trouble as far as possible. And yes, talking in the vaguest terms possible and indeed never actually saying anything worked a treat for the other guy 11 years ago.
But. Dude. Seriously.
Please consider this.
Recent polls show that no-one actually believes that you will manage the economy better than the other lot. As this seems to be pretty much all that most people care about anymore, that could be a problem.
85% of people believe that coconut boy can run the economy better than you, or that which side is in power will make no difference. The same poll showed that the other 15% of people were kidding around. So, why would the most ridiculously afraid of change electorate in the world vote for you unless there is some actual reason to do so?
Did you learn nothing from the Republic Referendum (which historians will describe as the only time a monarch has successfully run for election)? Why were the public persuaded to vote for the Queen? Well, Malcolm Turnbull's efforts to get people excited about the repulic worked about as well as his recent efforts to persuade us that Mills are Good. The collective response sounded a lot like a world record 'meh' attempt.
On the other hand, it was suggested that this move was in some way vaguely risky. And from there, something that most people previously thought was a good idea was deader than dead can be.
This week, Robert McLelland finally said something inspiring and courageous on the issue of the death penalty. Your response was to talk smack about timing and sensitivity whilst running for the Redneck Hills as fast as your stumpy little legs would carry you.
In addition to stating the same policy that you stated when you had his job, Robert McLelland was also absolutely right. Respect for life should not depend on the nature of someone's crime or whether the victim was Australian. The death penalty is not effective as a deterrent, except in the sense that people who receive it tend not to re-offend. As a general deterrent, it's completely pants, particularly against people who are willing to blow themselves up anyway.
While we all feel the deepest sympathy for the victims of the Bali bombings and their families and friends, killing the bombers won't bring anyone back and basing our foreign policy on a sincere but misguided desire for revenge is quite simply a failure of leadership of the highest order.
How bad are your political skills if you can't even sell opposition to the death penalty, something that's so unpopular that every state we have has already gotten rid of it? And how much confidence can we have in you if you don't even have the courage to engage in the debate? How many votes do you think you can lose on an issue like this? More votes than you can lose by making yourself look like an idiot who criticises his own party platform? Or less?
And do we really want to try to test this?
If we wanted no leadership and endless reinforcement of everything that is worst about our country, we already have a government who are REALLY GOOD AT THAT.
Repeat after me: KILLING PEOPLE IS WORNG AND WHEN THE STATE DOES IT IN COLD BLOOD IT MAKES MURDERERS OF US ALL.
Did you learn nothing from the Tampa? Or the no children overboard incident? Your party's tragically spineless metooist response allowed the government to skate through an election campaign on the basis of a lie. Can you imagine how much better off you might have been if that lie had been exposed before polling day?
You ran for the leadership of the ALP claiming that this would be the most important election in the history of the world. Well, it won't be if your position is exactly the same as the other side's on just about everything, including Appalling Treatment for anyone accused of Being Distantly Related to a Terrorist, Building of Mills that no-one except the actual people who get paid to build it actually wants, giving ridiculous amounts of money to Geelong Grammar and Sweet Stuff All to Worowa Aboriginal College, and also Less Africans. It will be a complete waste of freakin' time if the only real diiference between the two parties is some minor adjustments to Workchoices and also Less Eyebrows.
If I wanted to vote in an election where my two choices were the Liberal Party and the Young Liberals, I would move overseas.
TO HELL.
The only way I can see you actually losing this election is if the government's oft-repeated claims that your policies are just a bunch of meaningless metooism starts to resonate with swinging voters and they swing right back to their default position of "better the idiot you know".
Having identified the one way that you could lose this election, you seem to be pursuing that exact policy diligently and with great discipline. What sort of advice, exactly, are you getting and can you sack the people giving it to you right now please?
Look, let's be realistic here. I will still vote for you because short of changing your name to Beelzebubbles* and running solely on pro-Satan policies, nothing could persuade me to vote for the other guy (and even then it would be teh toughest decision ever). But I would like to spend the next few weeks seeking to persuade everyone I know to also vote for you. This won't work if one of these people asks me why we should have a change of government and I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER.
* Utterly gratuitous Blackadder reference that seemed somehow appropriate
1. Kevin Rudd is furious with Robert McLelland for stating the official Labor Party policy in a speech approved by Kevin Rudd's office.
2. John Howard is furious with Robert McLelland for stating the official Labor party policy in that speech too.
3. John Howard is also furious with Kevin Rudd for not supporting the policy that Howard is furious about, even though they both used almost exactly the same words when criticising it.
4. Alexander Downer is furious with Kevin Rudd for agreeing with Alexander Downer's leader instead of Alexander Downer's direct opponent.
5. Robert McLelland is probably quietly furious with Kevin Rudd but so far he's been pretty quiet about it, even though, frankly, no one could seriously blame him.
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.
Yes, the polls have been looking good for a while now. Yes, you want to avoid trouble as far as possible. And yes, talking in the vaguest terms possible and indeed never actually saying anything worked a treat for the other guy 11 years ago.
But. Dude. Seriously.
Please consider this.
Recent polls show that no-one actually believes that you will manage the economy better than the other lot. As this seems to be pretty much all that most people care about anymore, that could be a problem.
85% of people believe that coconut boy can run the economy better than you, or that which side is in power will make no difference. The same poll showed that the other 15% of people were kidding around. So, why would the most ridiculously afraid of change electorate in the world vote for you unless there is some actual reason to do so?
Did you learn nothing from the Republic Referendum (which historians will describe as the only time a monarch has successfully run for election)? Why were the public persuaded to vote for the Queen? Well, Malcolm Turnbull's efforts to get people excited about the repulic worked about as well as his recent efforts to persuade us that Mills are Good. The collective response sounded a lot like a world record 'meh' attempt.
On the other hand, it was suggested that this move was in some way vaguely risky. And from there, something that most people previously thought was a good idea was deader than dead can be.
This week, Robert McLelland finally said something inspiring and courageous on the issue of the death penalty. Your response was to talk smack about timing and sensitivity whilst running for the Redneck Hills as fast as your stumpy little legs would carry you.
In addition to stating the same policy that you stated when you had his job, Robert McLelland was also absolutely right. Respect for life should not depend on the nature of someone's crime or whether the victim was Australian. The death penalty is not effective as a deterrent, except in the sense that people who receive it tend not to re-offend. As a general deterrent, it's completely pants, particularly against people who are willing to blow themselves up anyway.
While we all feel the deepest sympathy for the victims of the Bali bombings and their families and friends, killing the bombers won't bring anyone back and basing our foreign policy on a sincere but misguided desire for revenge is quite simply a failure of leadership of the highest order.
How bad are your political skills if you can't even sell opposition to the death penalty, something that's so unpopular that every state we have has already gotten rid of it? And how much confidence can we have in you if you don't even have the courage to engage in the debate? How many votes do you think you can lose on an issue like this? More votes than you can lose by making yourself look like an idiot who criticises his own party platform? Or less?
And do we really want to try to test this?
If we wanted no leadership and endless reinforcement of everything that is worst about our country, we already have a government who are REALLY GOOD AT THAT.
Repeat after me: KILLING PEOPLE IS WORNG AND WHEN THE STATE DOES IT IN COLD BLOOD IT MAKES MURDERERS OF US ALL.
Did you learn nothing from the Tampa? Or the no children overboard incident? Your party's tragically spineless metooist response allowed the government to skate through an election campaign on the basis of a lie. Can you imagine how much better off you might have been if that lie had been exposed before polling day?
You ran for the leadership of the ALP claiming that this would be the most important election in the history of the world. Well, it won't be if your position is exactly the same as the other side's on just about everything, including Appalling Treatment for anyone accused of Being Distantly Related to a Terrorist, Building of Mills that no-one except the actual people who get paid to build it actually wants, giving ridiculous amounts of money to Geelong Grammar and Sweet Stuff All to Worowa Aboriginal College, and also Less Africans. It will be a complete waste of freakin' time if the only real diiference between the two parties is some minor adjustments to Workchoices and also Less Eyebrows.
If I wanted to vote in an election where my two choices were the Liberal Party and the Young Liberals, I would move overseas.
TO HELL.
The only way I can see you actually losing this election is if the government's oft-repeated claims that your policies are just a bunch of meaningless metooism starts to resonate with swinging voters and they swing right back to their default position of "better the idiot you know".
Having identified the one way that you could lose this election, you seem to be pursuing that exact policy diligently and with great discipline. What sort of advice, exactly, are you getting and can you sack the people giving it to you right now please?
Look, let's be realistic here. I will still vote for you because short of changing your name to Beelzebubbles* and running solely on pro-Satan policies, nothing could persuade me to vote for the other guy (and even then it would be teh toughest decision ever). But I would like to spend the next few weeks seeking to persuade everyone I know to also vote for you. This won't work if one of these people asks me why we should have a change of government and I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER.
* Utterly gratuitous Blackadder reference that seemed somehow appropriate
posted by I'm not Craig at 8:54 PM
10 Comments:
INC is rad! This debarcle has made me totally nervous as not only have I quite disagreed with Kevin Rudd's actions and slamation, I can't quite comprehend why he would slam such a thing. Maybe he is trying to appeal to the voting quarters of New Boganland, but, honestly I'm astounded and disappointed.
I'm already struggling with Rudd's demure look and personality. I still think that Jen Hawkins for PM would be our smartest move, as if Dubya wouldn't give us everything we wanted. Even if Hilary gets in, I'm sure they'd get along.
Since we mildly stalk Rebecca Bernard's performances, one gig we went to was a fund-raiser for the Greens. In between the acts the dudes would get all political on us, but the main Melbourne seat was saying that Rudd really is just as bad as Howard, which removes some of the quantity of Hope For Our Future that once filled my enthusiastic bones.
I think this needs to be forwarded to Kev's inbox IMMEDIATELY.
You've just expressed exactly what is bugging me right now... What the HELL is the problem with backing McClelland? With voicing genuine humane policy? Telling Costello to GET STUFFED with his 'Rudd supports Al Qaida' comments. Because even the dumbest voter knows that is so patently untrue as to only reflect badly on Costello. But Rudd seems to have tunnel vision. He is so on program that he's instinctively reacting AGAINST what he needs to stand FOR. Because he doesn't trust the Australian electorate to actually vote Howard out. He doesn't trust us, and thinks he's giving us what we want.
And that's the saddest thing. I hate being held hostage to narrow-minded and willfully ignorant politics.
I am too drunk to read this entire post but I did like the initial 1. politician x hates politican y 2. politician z hates some dude 3. &c Thing. Also your reasoning for Rudd needing to do something half fucking decent was bang on the moneys, he is magnificently crap so far, but also you are correct re: beelzebub still slightly preferable to howard (and rudd to beelzebub shit rudd doesn't even have that many flies ok).
kudos 10 points &c
I liked that situation we had before where Bob Brown had all the powers because the other parties were so even. Can we get something like that happening again?
Strangely enough, last night I was drunk, but that anon is not me.
Here is my thinking:
1. ALP had policy, it was right* policy
2. Robert Mclelland possibly did not think about timing of speech and should have perhaps not made a silly PR mistake like that (regardless of policy's correctness)
3. KR only served to inflame the whole thing by getting involved. And you know, made us all upset.
4. Some of the most enlightened Australians become irritatingly jingoistic/bloodthirsty whenever the Bali bombings are mentioned - especially when it comes to doing away with people who have "wronged" us.
5. Alexander Downer is a fatuous git.
6. John Howard is dog-whistling so hard right now they can hear him in outer-space.
It's fair to say I'm not having a great week, politics/emotion-wise.
* and by right, I mean "correct"
Well, ya know... I'm jumping on this here bandwagon and getting drunk tonight.
So there.
ps. word verif very hard when slightly tipsy. Just sayin'
Adam
Given that everyone who reads or writes this blog seems to be a mad fan of Rebecca I am certain we will discover one day that we all know each other already.
Also, thank you.
Also, Jen Hawkins for PM is an excellent plan except that she has the same initials as the current guy and that might be just enough to confuse the average voter into voting for the wrong person.
Actonb
I know, and this getting drunk plan is looking better every minute
Anon
Hi, and bless you for being willing to comment even while too drunk to read the whole post (at 4.12am, no less). Thanks for reading, whomever you may be.
Adam
We will do what we can to organise that. However, last time around something went horribly wrong and Brian Harradine and Meg Lees ended up running the country temporarily and frankly that hasn;t worked out so well
Giggles
Yes, it was a shocker of a week all round, really. I'm hoping your emotion-wise woes were linked to the political idiocy flyiong around, because if it was something else AND you had to put up with a week in politics like that, well it doesn't bear thinking about, really.
I was planning to follow your lead and get drunk last night but I goit distracted with doing the dishes and making a shopping list and by the time that was all done and the kids were in bed it was too late and I was too tired to start seriously drinking.
Actonb
Hi again. Remember that hangovers are a great source of blogging material.
Also, I struggle with word verification when I'm completely sober.
Speaking of drunk, I am currently rat-faced.
I like where you're coming from INC. Would that be north-west? And as for attracting comments from Adam...
Adam for Treasurer, I say!
Be that as it may, KR is a sad excuse for an ALP leader. I want a leader of vision, of principle, of compassion. Someone who can actually lead! Where are the idealists, these days?
I'll be voting Green.
(why is my word verification inkyvu?)
Meva
I am currently coming from the South East but in today's confused world of different directions that's really just north west by another name.
I'm sure we all agree on Adam for Treasurer (and if Jen Hawkins is PM, I'm pretty sure he'll take the job)
Well, the election is on now, so I'm looking forward to forgetting all about last week and looking forward to a very big party on teh night of the 24th.
Man I'd be a good Treasurer! I've often been the banker in Monopoly and no one has shouted You Suck or similar so I'm pretty freakin' confident I could do it. Thanks Meva and INC.
Two of my mates are looking to actually go to Canberra on election weekend to watch the votes come in - they've invited me and I think I'll go. Probably not particularly unruly and rock 'n' roll, but since I'm living for blog material again...
Post a Comment
<< Home