I married a very tolerant woman
And the evidence is right here in these fairly typical examples of the type of conversations we have every single day.
Exhibit A
The scene is a fairly normal suburban house in Adelaide, around 15 minutes walk from the nearest supermarket. There is currently no car in the driveway. INC and Honey Bear are discussing what to cook for their nieces for dinner. It’s a warm, pleasant day in early autumn.
Honey Bear: You could buy some fish for tomorrow night, but you probably don’t want to walk for 15 minutes in the sun with the raw fish.
INC: No, you’re right. For the fish’s sake, if nothing else
Honey Bear: Did you just say ‘for the fish’s sake?’
INC: Yes. Yes I did
Honey Bear So what, you don’t want it to be dead and hot?
INC: Sounds like hell to me.
Exhibit B
The scene is another fairly normal suburban house in Melbourne. Honey Bear and INC are about to go out.
Honey Bear: Your T-shirt is inside out
INC: No it’s not.
Honey Bear: Yes it is. Look, there’s the tag.
INC: Okay, that part of it is inside out
[brief pause while Honey Bear tries to decide whether there are words anywhere in the entire English language that can adequately convey the stupidity of that last statement. INC runs]
Exhibit C
The scene is the same suburban house, early in the evening. The phone is ringing.
Phone: Ring. Ring.
Honey Bear: Hello
INC: Hi sweetie. Hey, do we still need strawberries?
Honey Bear: Yes. Yes we do.
INC: Great, I’m at the supermarket now.
Honey Bear: What are you buying at the supermarket
INC: Strawberries.
I considered justifying that one by claiming that it was a homage to Charlie Sheen’s career defining cameo in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but then I decided that that would be far and away the most pretentious thing I have ever said or written on this blog or anywhere ever.
I am very, very fortunate to have found and married the one woman in the world who finds this stuff funny.
Exhibit A
The scene is a fairly normal suburban house in Adelaide, around 15 minutes walk from the nearest supermarket. There is currently no car in the driveway. INC and Honey Bear are discussing what to cook for their nieces for dinner. It’s a warm, pleasant day in early autumn.
Honey Bear: You could buy some fish for tomorrow night, but you probably don’t want to walk for 15 minutes in the sun with the raw fish.
INC: No, you’re right. For the fish’s sake, if nothing else
Honey Bear: Did you just say ‘for the fish’s sake?’
INC: Yes. Yes I did
Honey Bear So what, you don’t want it to be dead and hot?
INC: Sounds like hell to me.
Exhibit B
The scene is another fairly normal suburban house in Melbourne. Honey Bear and INC are about to go out.
Honey Bear: Your T-shirt is inside out
INC: No it’s not.
Honey Bear: Yes it is. Look, there’s the tag.
INC: Okay, that part of it is inside out
[brief pause while Honey Bear tries to decide whether there are words anywhere in the entire English language that can adequately convey the stupidity of that last statement. INC runs]
Exhibit C
The scene is the same suburban house, early in the evening. The phone is ringing.
Phone: Ring. Ring.
Honey Bear: Hello
INC: Hi sweetie. Hey, do we still need strawberries?
Honey Bear: Yes. Yes we do.
INC: Great, I’m at the supermarket now.
Honey Bear: What are you buying at the supermarket
INC: Strawberries.
I considered justifying that one by claiming that it was a homage to Charlie Sheen’s career defining cameo in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but then I decided that that would be far and away the most pretentious thing I have ever said or written on this blog or anywhere ever.
I am very, very fortunate to have found and married the one woman in the world who finds this stuff funny.
posted by I'm not Craig at 8:32 PM
5 Comments:
i would like to say that i found all those examples funny.
laughing with you or at you? i'm not entirely sure, but funny.
i do similar things though. living in japan, my friend told me he'd seen a man, late at night, on the train, a business man, urinate out the connecting door. my first, and only question (because after that my friend was laughing too much to talk) was:
was it an express train?
he couldn't see my point. but i could, and i still can. can anyone else?
there was much logic involved.
ps pls refresh us of the charlie sheen scene in ferris bueller. i saw it only recently, bits of it, was there a strawb ref?
MG
Glad you found it funny, whatever the reason may be.
I'm not sure if the express train question relates to frequency of stopping or merely slipstream issues.
It's too complicated. Please spill.
The Ferris Bueller reference was to the bit where Ferris' sister ends up at the police station sitting next to an incredibly stoned guy. The conversation goes something like:
Stoned guy: Drugs?
Jeannie: Thanks, I'm straight
Stoned guy: I mean, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie: What are you in here for?
Stoned guy: Drugs.
So, possibly that was a slightly obscure reference/ pretty big stretch etc
But it amused me, which is pretty much the only criteria for whether stuff gets on to this blog.
MG,
Yep - I get it. I still don't know whether it's cool though.
INCraig,
Nice reference. I love that scene. Although Charlie Sheen * shudder *
yes you both got it. no, not cool, but still, my friend didn't get it.
it was understandable if it was an express. but not, never, excusable.
THAT was my point.
and i have never forgotten it, even 15 years later. i can now go to bed validated. thank you.
Gigglewick
*shudders also*
And don't even get me started on "Two and a half men"
MG
Thank you, too. I think we will all be going to bed validated now
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