Posts named after obscure Amy Grant songs part 1: Hats
Possibly the most stunned I have ever seen Honey Bear look was a few months ago, when we were discussing why I never wear sunglasses. The simple reason is that the only pair that I haven’t lost or broken are about twice as wide as my face and they look ridiculous. I concluded this explanation by saying “You know me, I’m all about the fashion.”
Honey Bear is rarely lost for words but there were a few moments of silence whilst she tried to work out where to start unpacking the sheer absurdity of that statement.
In that context, I shouldn’t be surprised that my choice of hats occasionally gives rise to some mild sledging. Possibly the best and most memorable example was supplied by he whom I am not. We were engaged in some mild pre-season soccer training when Craig noticed that I was wearing a baseball cap. The exact cap can be seen by looking at that profile photo over there. The conversation went something like this:
Craig: Why are you wearing a hat? It’s not even sunny.
INC: I was having a bad hair day
Craig: So what, you thought you’d make it a bad hat day?
That was pretty clearly a case of sledging. Sometimes, though, it’s harder to tell. For example, last Sunday I found myself ordering coffee and a muffin in a rather nice café. Usually, the whole issue of baseball caps would not arise in this situation, but the very nice café was located in the middle of the Melbourne Zoo and I was with two small children who tend to notice the inconsistency if I insist that they must wear hats because it’s sunny and I myself go “free hair”.
So, towards the end of the ordering and paying for stuff process, I had the following discussion with the very nice lady at the cash register.
Very nice lady: Are you sitting outside?
INC: Yes
Very nice lady: I’ll bring your coffees out soon
INC: Should I take one of these numbers on sticks?
Very nice lady: No, that’s okay, I’ll just look for that hat.
The very nice lady said it so politely that I couldn’t be entirely certain, but instinct stronger than reason tells me I was being mocked.
So I went and looked at giraffes.
Honey Bear is rarely lost for words but there were a few moments of silence whilst she tried to work out where to start unpacking the sheer absurdity of that statement.
In that context, I shouldn’t be surprised that my choice of hats occasionally gives rise to some mild sledging. Possibly the best and most memorable example was supplied by he whom I am not. We were engaged in some mild pre-season soccer training when Craig noticed that I was wearing a baseball cap. The exact cap can be seen by looking at that profile photo over there. The conversation went something like this:
Craig: Why are you wearing a hat? It’s not even sunny.
INC: I was having a bad hair day
Craig: So what, you thought you’d make it a bad hat day?
That was pretty clearly a case of sledging. Sometimes, though, it’s harder to tell. For example, last Sunday I found myself ordering coffee and a muffin in a rather nice café. Usually, the whole issue of baseball caps would not arise in this situation, but the very nice café was located in the middle of the Melbourne Zoo and I was with two small children who tend to notice the inconsistency if I insist that they must wear hats because it’s sunny and I myself go “free hair”.
So, towards the end of the ordering and paying for stuff process, I had the following discussion with the very nice lady at the cash register.
Very nice lady: Are you sitting outside?
INC: Yes
Very nice lady: I’ll bring your coffees out soon
INC: Should I take one of these numbers on sticks?
Very nice lady: No, that’s okay, I’ll just look for that hat.
The very nice lady said it so politely that I couldn’t be entirely certain, but instinct stronger than reason tells me I was being mocked.
So I went and looked at giraffes.
posted by I'm not Craig at 10:54 PM
11 Comments:
I pride myself on my 'Waratah Roadhouse Tasmania' cap. It is bright yellow, with an embroidered Waratah and the words above in red. I got it in Waratah, one of 6 towns in the world with a waterfall in the middle of town, so they tell me. No one else seems to like it.
By the way, had a baby girl on Friday night, so I might be coming over to WDTAOK at some stage!
I just noticed something in your profile (while admiring the cap. And the tiger).
Petra?????
Words fail me.
(Although as someone with the names Jennifer Knapp, Sixpence and OC Supertones in their profile, I really shouldn't talk)
I must say that is a seriously bad hat. I would possibly point and laugh if I saw it on a person rather than a stuffed toy. Maybe you should just stick to the "free hair" which is toddler genius btw.
Groverjones
Huge congratulations, not so much on the hat but very much on the baby girl. Welcome to the amazing experience of parenting. You are of course very welcome at WDTAOK any time.
Actonb
I saw them play at Festival Hall in 1988 AND I STILL HAVE THE T-SHIRT. I haven't listened to anything of theirs in around 10 years but I included them in the profile as a sort of acknowledgement of one of my first musical loves.
I have been getting away with it so far because I suspect you are the only person reading this blog who has ever heard of Petra.
Incidentally, I was endlessly amused when I visited my brother in Perth last year and found my copy of their 1990 album "Beyond Belief" in the tape deck of his car. I had been wondering where that went.
I also like Sixpence None the Richer.
Killerrabbit
The hat is an example of the things we do for the love of a basketball team. I bought in in 1994, if that helps.
I should add that I wasn't wearing the profile photo hat at the zoo, but a rather newer one. Apparently none of my caps look good.
This comment has been removed by the author.
D'oh, I always thought the tiger was wearing a Tamo'shanter.
love the hat, sledges. love the fact that the lady at the coffee shop did it even more subtly than craig. love the fact that he made an appearance in your post.
and
CONGRATS TO GROVERJONES!
i can shout, i've known him for "ages" (ie here, in blogworld) and am very pleased to hear the news.
[smiles]
Mizanthrop
If i had a Tamo'shanter, the tiger would be wearing it.
btw, we took a vote over at WDTAOK and we all want to invite you to become one of the authors at that blog. Email me if you're in.
MG
If I ever get to meet you in real life, possibly the very first thing I will do is introduce you to Craig.
And shouting about Grover's news is absolutely the best possible response. Let's all do that.
CONGRATULATIONS GROVER!!!
(again)
Heh.
MrB informed me he saw them at the Hordern Pavlova in 1986. But only because his church was going... He went and saw Larry Norman at the Myer Music Bowl (?) in 1988. I sneakily checked, and he has NO Petra CDs. Or Vinyl.
But miles and bloody miles of Larry Norman and Rez.
And apparently 'Hats' isn't obscure at all. To the Freak that is MrB.
He saw Larry "why should the devil have all the good music" Norman? That. Is. Fantastic.
If I ever come to your town, it is absolutely essential that I meet you and your lovely daughters and it is also essential that I spend a couple of hours at the pub with Mr B swapping bad Christian music of the 80s stories.
I also saw Whitecross. And DeGarmo & Key. WHAT WAS I THINKING!
No, INC, it is not Fantastic.
It. Is. Super. Scary.
But you obviously haven't experienced the pain of being married to a man who wanted to play LN's 'Looking for a Woman of God' at our wedding. Without a scrap of irony.
(We played Rich Mullin's Liturgy during the certificate signing instead)
But he screwed his face up and snorted in an unattractive manner when I mentioned DeGarmo & Key (as I had never heard of them), so I'm assuming they're Bad. As Bad as LN.
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